They Know Not What They Do

When people are mean to you – gossip about you, verbally abuse you, disrespect you, stalk you – they are acting at a lower vibration, a lower consciousness than you.

The quickest and easiest way for you to disengage from their behavior and not react is to see it for just that – lower consciousness mentality resulting in lower consciousness behavior. Nothing more.

It’s About Them, Not You

When people act negatively towards us it’s not about us. They are reacting from their emotional place, they are not reacting to us.  How anyone reacts to anyone is always an indication of their emotional place.

If you react in a lower consciousness manner it’s because you went there emotionally and mentally. You allowed yourself to have that reaction. If you choose the “high road” then you are responding from a higher consciousness mentality. That’s the way it works.

If people gossip it’s because it’s a habit they have formed because their consciousness is lower than yours. It irritates, hurts or upsets you because you are not at their same consciousness level and you see it as harmful. It does not make you better and them bad, it simply means your consciousness levels are different. Period. You are aware they are doing it, find it hurtful and do not engage in it yourself, therefore your consciousness is higher. They do it, they may or may not know they do it, and it doesn’t bother them to do it. Therefore, their consciousness is lower. That’s all.

Want to Get Upset? Engage!

If you can stand back and see someone’s behavior as just that – lower consciousness – then it’s much easier to not get caught up in it, to not get upset or hurt.  The sure-fire way to get upset or hurt is to engage right back with them. Engaging may not mean gossiping too, it means reacting.  It could mean calling them out or getting even, but those strategies rarely have a happy ending. Whether you react silently in your head or out loud, it doesn’t matter, you’re reacting. The more you react, the more the behavior continues. See how that goes?

Being the bigger person means not stooping to their level. If you can see it not so much as stooping to their level but making a conscious decision not to drop your consciousness level to theirs, that will help you to re-frame it and achieve the distance and detachment easier.


Detaching is important. If you are still getting upset about what the other person is doing, you’re not detached. You’re still letting it get to you. That’s not detached.

Make detaching a conscious decision that you feel good about versus feeling like you have to let the other person “win” because you have to be the bigger person. When we feel like that, nobody wins because we see it as we have to give in to them. It’s not giving in, it’s choosing something different, a higher vibrational path. A new way to look at the situation that is not only accurate, but liberating.

If you work with gossips or are around any type of disrespectful or abusive people, see them for who they are – lower level consciousness people who as Jesus said, “know not what they do.” This doesn’t mean feel sorry for them because feeling sorry for people doesn’t help anyone. It doesn’t mean judging them because we’ve all started at lower consciousness. Thankfully some of us have evolved in our thinking. Then we see the situation for what it’s worth.

Maybe you say to yourself, “OK, I was never a gossip but I didn’t used to be as aware as I am today. Those people are kinda like where I used to be in my awareness levels. Now I’ve moved on and I no longer want to hang out with or react to people like that.”  That’s all it is. Your awareness level has increased and you prefer to be around other people who have higher levels of awareness. If you’re forced to be around them such as at your office, then knowing why they are like this can help you detach from reacting to them. Its not worth your energy. Obviously, you didn’t like what was going on or you wouldn’t be upset.

Did being upset about it help you feel better? No. Did it stop them from their behavior? No. In fact, depending on the situation it might’ve made it worse.  Sometimes when people see they’re getting a reaction they try harder to upset you more.

From a purely logical standpoint you can see then, that reacting to them isn’t improving the situation or your mental health. Emotions aren’t logical. When your consciousness level is higher you are more in touch with your emotions and can choose to experience them or not. A situation like this isn’t worth engaging your emotions and getting upset. See the situation for what it is and don’t react.

Stopping Ourselves from Reacting Isn’t the Same as Choosing Not to React

When we try to stop ourselves it’s like slamming on the breaks when you’re rushing downhill. You can do it, but it takes a lot of effort. Sometimes we have a hard time stopping and end up in an ugly skid. We get tired when we have to effort all the time.

If you can pull back like a camera pulling back for a panorama shot, then you can see the entire situation, the big picture. When we see the big picture – i.e. that some people have lower consciousness – it’s much easier instead to make a choice not to engage versus forcing ourselves not to. If you have to force yourself to engage then you’re not fully embracing the big picture.

Maybe you hear what I’m saying but it isn’t sinking in. It’s like the old Charlie Brown cartoons where all he heard from his teacher was, “Wa wa wa wa wa wa.”  Maybe you see it but you don’t believe it.  Or maybe you see it but can’t internalize it and detach yet. That’s ok. Detaching takes practice.

We Detach When We’re Ready

Like any other shift, we detach when we’re ready. When the pain gets too great, when the lightbulb comes on, when we’re ready to let go is when we make the shift. That’s one reason we often don’t shift quickly – we’re not ready. It’s ok, we do when we are.

When we’re ready little things like petty gossipers don’t bother us. Bigger things like stalkers will no longer bother us either because we have detached from their energetic game. At that point we have claimed our higher consciousness, we are empowered and there is nothing they can say or do that will harm us. We are our own personal sovereign nation. We live in a kingdom where we don’t need moats because there are no threats. There are no threats because of the way we think in higher consciousness land.

What does your personal kingdom look like?

If you are around difficult people and want to discuss it, contact me for a one session strategy session.

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