Why me? That question can signal a pity party about to happen or a genuinely humble question. Same question, two different intents.
When we are attached to an outcome, we have a lot of questions because we want what we want to come true. Some pitying questions may be: “Why isn’t he calling me?” “Why doesn’t he like me?” “Why can’t I get that job?” “Why doesn’t the boss like me enough to promote me?” etc. We want things to happen and look a certain way so we can feel comfortable. It’s human nature to want to feel secure, to know our dreams will come true.
When we don’t get what we want is when “Why me?” turns into a (literal or figurative) whine. If you recall the Nancy Kerrigan/Tonya Harding ice skating scandal of the 90s, when Nancy was injured, she immediately screamed, “Why, why, why?” Her first reaction, like most of us, was to slip into victimhood and pity. Nancy, being a professional athlete, was trained to get her head back on straight, heal her knee, keep going and ditch the pity party, which she did. She didn’t stay tied to the outcome of why was she the victim. She just got on with it. Nancy’s example may be a more extreme one and unique in that she was trained to turn it around. But it makes the point that when we don’t get what we want, we have a pity party, table for one. We whine or pout or find some other way to indicate we’re not happy that we’re not getting what we want. We feel sorry for ourselves. It’s human nature.
I don’t know about you, but I can recall some tear-stained times as a teenager crying on my mom’s shoulder over a broken heart. “Why doesn’t he like me?” Most teens are terribly attached to the outcome of “does he like me or not?” so they start a massive pity party. That’s being a teen. When we grow up the crying may stop or how we pity ourselves may change, but we often stay in feeling sorry for our self mode when we are attached to the outcome that isn’t happening the way we want it to. When we continue to ask why isn’t something happening for us, it doesn’t happen because we are noticing it’s not.
When we’re not attached to the outcome however, something wonderful can happen.
From what I know of JK Rowling’s story she was a single mom English teacher trying to make ends meet. She wasn’t forcing herself to write a book and was not looking to write as a way to make money. Then one day on the train, according to her story, she just started writing. And writing. And writing. On anything she could get ahold of – receipts in her purse, napkin, stray piece of paper. From what’s been printed about her climb to success she wasn’t invested in stories such as, “I need to write a book to make money.” Or “How can I make money? Oh, I’ll just write a book.” Apparently, she liked to write, and all of the sudden she started writing. Some may call it channeling or downloading. It’s all the same thing. She was inspired to write, and write she did.
From what she has revealed, when she reached massive success, she didn’t waste a lot of time asking, “Why me?” “What makes me so special I wrote this awesome book series?” or “Why am I good enough to do this?” The point of her story is she just accepted it and let it happen. While hers isn’t a situation to pity, she wasn’t attached to the outcome of whether her book was a success or not or why she was inspired to write it. In fact, her first book was initially rejected by twelve publishing houses. Because she didn’t get caught up in a pity party of how bad her life was, (she’s been quoted as stating she was as poor as someone could be in modern Britain without being homeless) or whether she’s a good writer or not, she was inspired to write a series of best-selling novels.
JK Rowling might have asked herself the “why me” questions of why am I special or why was I chosen to write these books, but she didn’t get caught up in it. She just let it happen and happen it did. When we aren’t attached to the outcome or don’t get hung up on “why me” is when the miracles can happen. Like hers.
Let me give you a story closer to home because we all aren’t or can’t be JK Rowling. Back in December 2012 I was in the Great Pyramid in Egypt doing ceremony with a spiritual group. After the ceremony all of the sudden I started channeling something that sounded like gibberish. I had no clue what it was. I asked a few people if they knew. No one did. Later I journaled it, then pretty much forgot about it for five years.
Fast forward to 2017. In meditation this gibberish came to me again. Apparently now I was ready to receive it full on so I asked what it was. The answer was light language. I never heard of it, didn’t even know it was a thing so I googled it. Sure enough, it’s a thing! What do you know? Now it’s pretty popular, but then it wasn’t. Most people I knew hadn’t heard of it then.
For a brief period, I got into the, “Why me?” game. What makes me so special, just some little old basically nobody (i.e. not famous or world renown) that lives in Texas, that I got such a cool gift out of the blue not asking for it? Rather than coming from pity, I was humbled, awed and yes, a bit demeaning of myself, but not to the point it blocked me from receiving more or getting comfortable with it.
The answer was because it was time and I was supposed to get the gift. I was remembering what I already knew. Light language is an ancient healing language. Many of us are now spontaneously remembering it like I did or are learning it because it’s time for humanity to use it again.
After wrestling with that for a while, I accepted it. Once we accept what we’ve been given, we open a space to let the miracles come in. By doing so we no longer struggle with or pity ourselves with, “Why me?”
Next time you are tempted to feel sorry for yourself and ask, “Why me?” I challenge you to see what the situation has to offer – good or “bad.” Next time you receive a beautiful gift, a miracle of sorts, an inspiration, I invite you to not question why you in particular received it. Just be thankful and go on. In the gratefulness comes more.