Don’t let it go! That seems contrary to what I always say, right? Let me explain.
Sometimes when we have a fearful or anxious thought or old traumatic memories we’re told to, “let it go.” Or do release work to let it go. Release it. Get rid of it.
When I’m doing release work sometimes, I’ve found that when I tell my subconscious to let it go, it doesn’t want to. Why? Because it’s familiar. It’s part of me. Or what will happen if I let it go? What will I feel like then? So, my subconscious mind resists letting it go. Fear can be a safety mechanism. It may not feel good, but it can make us feel safe because we’re on high alert so to speak. Therefore, we don’t want to get rid of what illogically makes us feel safe. Our rational brain thinks it’s crazy to hold onto it but our irrational brain wants to keep it.
That’s when I discovered instead of telling my subconscious to let it go, I tell it to put it aside. Putting it aside implies you can pick it back up again later if you want to. It’s still there if you need it or want it. It’s not removing your “safety” mechanism; it’s tricking your mind into a better place.
Delayed Gratification Can Work
If you’ve ever been on a diet program of any type, even self-imposed, the advice to resist temptation is wait five or ten minutes and then see if you still want it. Or if you’re tempted to buy something, go walk around the mall or distract yourself at home for a while if you’re online shopping, then see if you still want it. Chances are good that you won’t.
If we’re really in touch with ourselves we’ll discover that we don’t want it that badly. We’ll discover the reason that we wanted it in the first place. Usually, it’s to cover up some emotion that we don’t want to feel. We all know if you’re watching what you eat then you break down and eat a pint of ice cream, you’ll most likely feel guilty later. Now you created a new problem. Not only did your break your diet, now you’re beating yourself up for doing it. Neither of which serves you.
The answer in that case is to resist the urge to eat, buy, drink, whatever, for five or ten minutes, then check in to see if you still want it. Often, we’ll find that we don’t. It was an impulse. A reaction to something else. A way to distract ourselves from those pesky feelings that we don’t want to feel!
It’s the same principle with putting aside your fearful or anxious thoughts for a few minutes. You don’t have to give them up if letting them go gives you more anxiety. Just put them aside. More than likely, you’ll find later that you don’t want them back. They didn’t serve you the first time, so why do you want them back? In essence, you did let them go. You just delayed it. And that feels better.
Just like it feels better to tell yourself in ten minutes you can still have that ice cream. It’s not denying yourself it’s just delaying it. You can have it if you want it. Sure, you can. That feels liberating. That feels good. “Wow! I can have ice cream!” or “Wow! I can buy that expensive purse!” Then you come back to reality and realize, wait, I really don’t want that ice cream right now. Or I really don’t want to spend that much money on a purse after all. It seemed like a good idea in the moment but now that you created some distance, you don’t want it.
Letting Go Can be Scary!
Letting go can be scary. If you were dangling over a cliff holding onto someone’s hand it’d be really scary to let go. Obviously, that’s not the right choice in the moment. If you can use their hand to gain some foothold leverage and hoist yourself up, that’s not letting go. That feels much better.
The same is true of letting go of our old baggage. It hasn’t served us. It’s been dragging us down. So, why do we hold onto it? Because sometimes it can feel scary to let it go. So, don’t. Put it aside. Then we don’t have to re-experience it or have those troubling feelings all over again. It’s not being in denial it’s choosing not to feel or think about those things right now because doing so right now causes more harm than good. They may crop up during your release work and stop you in your tracks. If you can’t move on from releasing, then put them aside.
Tame the Toddler Inside
Our mind truly is like a toddler. When toddlers want something, they generally don’t give up. They don’t understand delayed gratification. They want it NOW! If you tell them they have to wait they will let you know that doesn’t work for them! Your mind is like that too. Just because these thoughts keep popping up into your consciousness doesn’t mean that you have to experience or think about them now. You grew up from being a toddler, so you can train your mind to stop acting like one!
If you’re getting stuck in your release work, then try this. Imagine putting your baggage, whatever you want to release, in a box on a shelf. It can be a really pretty box tied up with a really pretty ribbon. It’s enticing. You can go back and open it any time that you like. But for now, you want to box it up and store it. You don’t need it. It’s like putting away your winter clothes in the summer. You don’t need them right now. But they are there for when you do just like it’s a sense of comfort to know that the old memories or feelings are there, however twisted that may seem. You don’t have to release them today. You can pick them back up when you feel like dealing with them.
If it makes you feel better to know that your fears and anxieties are waiting for you in a pretty box, then put them in there. I’d bet dollars to donuts as the saying goes, that you won’t want them later. They can stay in that pretty box on the shelf in your mind gathering dust only to be forgotten. So forgotten that they no longer affect you. They are no longer in your consciousness. Now you can move on and truly release.
If you’re not sure if you should let something go or not, or right now, then ask your best friend, your intuition. It will know. It will guide you. It will help you identify what to deal with now and what not to…if you ask it!
If you want to learn how to listen to it, how to talk to it and how to trust it by CLICKING
HERE. I developed this easy-to-follow online course because people like you asked me to.
Once you start listening to your intuition, you’ll be amazed how much your life clicks into place. Then you can truly start enjoying yourself. CLICK HERE to find out more!
