As mentioned in my previous blog post, complaining can turn people off. It may bring some people together, but not the kind of people you want to be around – more negative people.
Complaining has many consequences, even for those of us who only do it on occasion. First and foremost, it brings your vibration down as it puts you into a negative space. It brings us out of the uplifting vibrations like gratitude, joy, love, compassion.
Once our vibration is lowered, we have to first be aware of it, then bring it back up. How do you do that? Stop complaining. Then do the things we would normally do to raise our vibration such as find ten things to be grateful for, do something playful like skip, listen to happy music etc.
It Blocks Us from What We Want, not Helps Us
We complain when something didn’t go our way, when we didn’t get what we want. The more that we stay in that mindset the more we won’t get what we want because like attracts like. Whatever we complain about, we will get more of. It keeps us stuck so that we can’t receive what we want. That’s the exact opposite of what we want.
Complaining, therefore, blocks our manifesting abilities by keeping us stuck in the complaints. Manifesting requires that we keep our vibration high by staying in positive emotional states, not lower, negative ones such as complaining. If nothing else, curb your complaining to receive what you want.
So, why do we do it? Go back to my first blog post for the various reasons why people complain. The bottom line is it becomes a way of life. It’s something that we do. Humans are creatures of habit so we get stuck in the habit of complaining. We think it fulfills us when really it does the opposite. It stops us from getting what we desire.
Often as part of our complaining we justify why we didn’t get what we want. It’s because we have bad luck, because no one likes us or the world is against us etc. That’s why. It can’t be us, it’s them. When we justify, we are coming up with reasons why it can’t be our fault. “They have a stupid return policy, that’s why I can’t return this item.” It can’t be your fault, so it’s theirs. Did you read the return policy first? Did you comply with it or did you attempt to return something after the return window closed? The more we justify, the more we don’t allow in what we desire because we are basically coming up with reasons why we can’t get what we want.
Another part of complaining is often blaming. It’s their fault, not ours. “They hung up on me! They always hang up on me! It’s their fault they hung up on me, not mine!” Did you yell at them? Did you reel off a litany of profanities? Complainers never see their role in it. When we blame, we are taking the focus off of ourselves. We aren’t owning up to our part in it. We have no accountability. The more we blame, the more we can’t let in what we want to happen. We are blocked from receiving. Again, the opposite of what we desire.
You would think people wouldn’t want to block what they want. Conscious, aware people do not. People who are stuck in complaining, stuck in negativity, stuck in their emotions, block. Because they can’t see it. And they don’t realize it’s blocking them. Most complainers are unaware of how often they do it, so they don’t realize how much they complain. As I said, it becomes a habit, a way to communicate. It comes naturally to them.
It’s a Vicious Cycle
The sad thing is, when complainers don’t get what they want, what do they do? Complain some more! They continue to have their same old pity party with the same people or find a new audience if the original group got tired of them. Or if they’re complaining to a person in authority that won’t give in, they’ll find their boss or someone else to lodge their grievances with. They don’t give up because they think eventually someone will relent. And it gives them a sense of satisfaction to complain.
If it’s a legit complaint, then yes, someone might actually rectify the situation. But oftentimes their complaints aren’t legit or they are petty. “He constantly leaves a mess in the break room!” Ok, sometimes that is a big deal, but oftentimes it’s not. Or define what’s really a “mess” and you’ll realize it’s not that big a deal. They just don’t like it. They tend to nitpick small things others do without looking at themselves. They often exaggerate their claims by using words such as constantly, always or never when really, it’s infrequent or once. Exaggerating, they feel gives weight to their complaint. Observant people will see through it.
Basically, they can’t help themselves. They get stuck in a rut of complaining. It’s a vicious cycle because the more they complain, the more they see things to complain about. Or the more they complain, the more others don’t do as they ask which gives them fuel to complain some more. And on and on it goes.
Find the Silver Lining
If you find yourself complaining, how do you get out of it? The opposite of complaining is being grateful. See the bright side. Instead of being tempted to yell at a customer service rep because they couldn’t solve your problem, focus on how they tried, how they were polite. If you’re still convinced the company has a solution, nicely ask to speak to their manager. You know the saying, “You catch more bees with honey.” Meaning, the nicer you are, the more likely things will work out.
If your complaint is someone ignores you, doesn’t do as you hope they would or any other behavior, figure out why. I have a client who always complains and wonders why a person behaves the way she does towards her. When I do a reading for her, she has the same question: “Why won’t this person do this?” or “Why doesn’t she do that?” Then she complains that the person doesn’t help her, acknowledge her, support her.
Every time I give her the same answer: because that person doesn’t care. That’s the way she is, she’s cold, she’s self-centered. My client will agree, then she’ll start up with a similar yet the same complaint. She doesn’t get it because she doesn’t want to get it. It’s easier to complain than to see the truth. If she saw the truth, she’d have nothing to complain about! To stop complaining is to be empowered and that’s scary to most people. It’s new and uncertain territory. It’s risky. They’d rather play it safe with what they know – complaining. So, they stay stuck in that non-productive, vibration-lowering loop.
Sometimes you have to see people or situations for what they are. Realize that you will never get what you want from some people because they aren’t capable or just don’t care. Yes, sadly, some people are like that. It’s hard to believe when you are not that way, but people like that do exist. We’ve all run into them. Cut ties with these people or don’t expect anything from them because you could be waiting forever.
The silver lining in this situation is now you know. Now you have the gift of clarity, to understand why some people won’t give you what you want – ever. Knowing they won’t is better than banging your head against the wall hoping and complaining. Knowing sets you free! Now you can let go.
Because let go of complaints we must if we want to have a smooth, easy, peaceful, happy life and get what we desire.
Are you concerned that you complain too much and want an honest opinion? Ask your best, friend, your intuition! If you want to learn how to listen to it, how to talk to it and how to trust it by CLICKING
HERE.
Once you start listening to your intuition, you’ll be amazed how much your life clicks into place. Then you can truly start enjoying yourself. CLICK HERE to find out more!
