No one likes to experience anxiety. Heart palpitations, upset stomach, flushing skin, sweaty palms, not to mention racing thoughts. Those are probably the worst.
Being anxious isn’t productive. It works us up, puts us in a bad mood and leads to inaction. When we’re paralyzed by fear or anxiety, we get stuck and do nothing. We worry some more. We become indecisive. Then nothing gets done and our anxiety keeps circling the drain making it worse.
Re-frame
Solution: Re-frame your thoughts to channel that anxiety. See the situation differently, find the positives.
Instead of being worried about an upcoming situation, find the positive. Most of us don’t like change, especially the older we get. But if change is inevitable, go with it. Find the silver lining. There is always one if we look hard enough.
If you have to be around your in-laws that you’re not crazy about or are anxious about seeing them for a family gathering, find the positives. There has to be something good about them. Maybe one of them is funny. Even if their humor isn’t your cup of tea, as long as it’s not offensive or vulgar, at least they’re laughing, not yelling.
If you’re attached to your things and are anxious about getting rid of them, see it as gifting them to someone else. Donate them to charity. You had your time with them, now let someone else enjoy them. Think of all the room you’ll have in your closet or drawers!
If you’re going on vacation and are worried about all the things that could go wrong, think about what could go right. There has to be something. Take your mind off of it by Imagining how much fun you’ll have once you get there. Your vacation is about having fun, after all, not stressing about it.
When we’re anxious, it’s hard to see the positive, but try you must. Otherwise, anxiety is overwhelming. It’s crippling. It stops us from experiencing the joys in life, it blocks our happiness.
Get Busy
When we’re busy we don’t have time to worry about things. That’s why a lot of people stay busy – so they don’t go down roads they don’t want to go down. It’s avoidance. There’s nothing wrong with avoidance if it’s used for good – keep your mind off of more troubling thoughts. It’s not good to never experience your emotions, but if staying busy helps you focus and stay out of anxiety, then by all means, get moving! Later on you can set aside time to work through your anxiety, but to function on the right here, right now, get busy!
Do all those chores you keep meaning to do. Tackle your “honey-do” list or DIY projects. If none of those appeal to you, volunteer or help an elderly neighbor. Helping others always warms our hearts and takes our mind off our own troubles. Excellent solution.
During WW2 when the people of London were being bombed repeatedly, they didn’t let it get them down. They joined together to stand against the enemy. They drank their infamous tea amongst the rubble, moving on with life. In the darkest of times their alternatives were succumb to the horror, grief and anxiety or band together and keep on going. They kept on going. Even though those times were horrific, we can take a page from their book. You know the saying, “When times get tough, the tough get going.” And the Brits did in the worst of situations. If they did, you can too.
Get Excited
If you can go a step further, turn your anxiety into excitement. If you’re unsure about your future or current situation, try to get excited instead. Anxiety is a nervous energy. Focus that energy on excitement, eagerness, enjoyment. See it as a thrill, not a pill.
Instead of seeing your new job as something to be worried about, get excited. You have a new opportunity to shine, new contacts to make, new accolades to accumulate. Deal with the things causing you anxiety as they come.
If you’re moving and don’t want to leave your beloved home or hometown, think of new friendships to make, new opportunities to experience, new places to explore, and a fresh start in your new home. Let that override all of your troublesome thoughts. Get excited about your new adventure.
If you don’t think you can turn it around and embrace your new or worrisome situation, instead of saying you can’t, tell yourself that you can. Instead of focusing on I can’t, ask yourself: why can’t I? Oftentimes you’ll find that you can. Half the battle is identifying your concerns. Once you do, then you may have to talk yourself through some hurdles, but at least you’re overcoming them
It’s not easy to make this last leap into excitement, but what’s your alternative? More crippling anxiety, more inaction, more worries. That doesn’t feel good. Our ultimate goal in life is to feel good no matter what the circumstances are. Even in the darkest times we must find the light. There is always some light even if it’s a pinhole or it’s at the end of the tunnel. Reach for that light. Embrace it. Cherish it. Live it.
Use Some Logic
As I’ve said so many times, the goal is not to suppress your emotions or put them in a box on the shelf. They need to be processed. Look at them objectively. Break them down. What realistically could happen? Take each of your fears and anxieties and calculate the real risks and probabilities, not the perceived ones. That helps to quiet those nagging thoughts as well as to see the situation more clearly.
If you find that there is a higher risk of something negative happening, then formulate a game plan to either avoid or deal with it. It feels better knowing that there is a plan. It takes the anxiety down a few notches. Anxiety happens with unknows. Fill in those blanks.
The biggest re-frame that I can give you is this: instead of seeing everything that can go wrong, see what can go right. Sometimes there’s a 50-50 chance that something will go wrong. Focus on the 50% that it will go right. If the odds are imbalanced to 80% it’ll go right and 20% it’ll go wrong, take the 80%. It’s the surer bet.
Many times, there’s a very small chance something will go wrong, it’s just our fears blowing it up to the 90-100% range. Don’t buy into that. Again, examine the odds. What is the real likelihood? You’ll probably find it’s much smaller than you fear. It’s just that – a fear.
In recap here are the four top strategies to deal with anxiety: 1) Re-frame it to see it in a different, more palatable light, (2) Get busy for some much needed distraction, (3) Get excited to make it more enjoyable and (4) Use logic to see what’s real and what’s not.
Which one of these strategies will work best depends on you. Everyone is different. Somethings work better for some people. You know you. If you don’t, then start trying them and see what works best. You might have to do all three and that’s ok!
If you aren’t sure that you have anxiety or know that you do and want solutions, ask your best friend, your INTUITION!
If you want to learn how to listen to your intuition, how to talk to it and how to trust it by CLICKING
HERE.
Once you start listening to your intuition, you’ll be amazed how much your life clicks into place. Then you can truly start enjoying yourself. CLICK HERE to find out more!
