Some of you may remember that L’Oreal hair color commercial where the lady at the end urges you to buy it, “because you’re worth it.” Although the way she said it kind of came off arrogant and smug to me, there is truth to it. You are worth it and more.
Part of the point of marketing and commercialism is to tap into our universal desire to feel worthy. The subliminal message is, “You deserve to spend this on yourself, so do it!” Hence, the “buy it because you’re worth it” message worked! We all desperately want to feel worthy. If dying our hair makes us feel worthy because we’re more attractive, we’ll do it. If buying a new car every year makes someone feel worthy because they can afford it, they’ll do it. Round and round the worthiness cycle we go, never getting out. And never even knowing that we’re trapped in a cycle.
What did I do to Deserve This?
Many of us, especially women, when given something nice or a good opportunity tend to blow things off with a comment like, “I don’t deserve it.” or “Why do I deserve this?” The opposite is also true. When something bad happens we immediately throw our hands in the air and exclaim, “What did I do to deserve this?”
The answer is: NOTHING.
It’s not about deserving.
When bad things happen it’s certainly not because you deserved it. No one ever deserves something bad to happen to them. A friend of mine recently asked me that question. Negative things keep happening to her so her immediate reaction was, “What did I do to deserve this?”
My answer was just what I said above: nothing. It’s a normal reaction to think we did something to deserve it. In my friend’s case she had an energetic pattern going on that I explained to her so that she could break and release it.
Oftentimes that’s what is going on in the background. There’s an old pattern that we’re not aware of that keeps causing us to attract certain situations, and usually that pattern is unworthiness. That’s why you so often hear me talking about release work or letting go. It is essential if we want a harmonious life. It’s essential if we want to ascend. We have to clear out all of those old negative vibrational patterns to move forward.
Other times it’s our thoughts that we’re not aware of. How many times have I discussed that topic? I keep repeating it because letting go of negative thoughts is also essential to ascension. And manifestation of good things. The more negative things we think, the more negative things happen to us. Period. Law of the Universe.
Deserving = Worthiness
Deserving implies worthiness. It’s everywhere we look. First parents teach us right and wrong, then schools carry on the lesson. There’s passing and failing on tests and then passing or failing the grade entirely. It all adds up to are you worthy or not?
Society tells us that if we’re successful, then we’re worthy. If you’re attractive, you’re worthy and will probably be successful. If you make a lot of money, you have a lot of worth. If you don’t, then you’re not. If we don’t make a lot of money, then we’re not worthy, then our chances of attracting a good partner are less. If you’re poor or have no partner, the message is that you’re basically not worthy. Not deserving of life’s rewards such as fitting in, compliments, promotions, approval, success etc.
That is all total BS.
Don’t buy it.
By the time we’re an adult we’re programmed to believe that we have to be worthy in other people’s eyes so that we can succeed. We’ve been brainwashed to believe that survival depends on our worthiness.
It’s Programming
Since cave man days we’ve been programmed to believe that survival depends on worthiness. If you weren’t a fast enough runner or smart enough to outwit the predator, you died. If you weren’t good at hunting or gathering or just surviving, what were you good for? Nature weeds out the weak. Hence it gets programmed into our DNA that you have to bring something to the table or else you’ll die. Whether you couldn’t outrun the predator or your tribe left you behind because you had nothing to contribute, you met your fate.
That pattern of survival was passed down through our DNA. It just looks different today. We no longer chase game to eat them; we chase success.
This still carries on today: if we don’t think we’re worthy, our chances of success are lowered. When we don’t think we’re worthy we undersell ourselves, have low confidence or don’t believe in ourselves. That’s when we start to think we don’t deserve anything good. We attract what we think like people who seem to have a black cloud hanging over them, always attracting something negative.
The myth perpetuates. We descend into victimhood. Just by asking “What did I do to deserve this” implies victimhood. Something bad happened to you appearing out of your control.
That’s when we stay stagnant or dissatisfied in our career, never progressing, never reaching our financial goals. Or jump from one relationship to the next, always seeking love. We’re always chasing something: worthiness, deserving. It’s that unseen, intangible force that most of us are unaware of that pulls our strings.
It’s a Core Issue for Everyone
If we randomly asked 100 people if they felt worthy probably most of them would say yes. When in reality, most people don’t feel worthy. It’s a core issue for almost everyone on the planet, yet most of us don’t know it. Or hide it so well that we don’t even know it.
How do you know if you’re struggling with your worth, your deserving factor? Catch yourself asking, “What did I do to deserve this?” or “I don’t deserve this!” Or any variation.
If you’re one of the lucky ones that doesn’t say that, even silently to yourself, check your success factor. Be honest with yourself. You don’t have to admit it to anyone and this isn’t a test.
Have you reached your financial or career goals or are you always struggling or just can’t quite get there? Are you in or ever had a successful, loving relationship? Some people are successful with money, but not with love. And vice versa. Rare is the person who conquers both.
That’s why we see the stereotypes in movies. Society keeps throwing them in our faces. The rich unhappy family echoes the “Money can’t buy you love theme” and the poor people are “Lucky in love, unlucky in business.” They justify their financial lack with “we may be poor, but we’re happy.” Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with that. My point is when you truly feel worthy you can have both – love and money. Most people don’t.
You Can’t Judge Outer Appearances
Even people that you think you know, will surprise you. A good friend of ours makes close to 7-figures. He and his wife raised 3 lovely children. After the kids were grown, one day the wife wakes up and wants out. To her husband it seemed out of the blue. To this day he doesn’t know the answer to that mystery other than what she gave him: she was unhappy.
It’s hard to imagine someone living the life of luxury with a devoted husband and 3 wonderful children would be unhappy, but she claimed she was. There was no infidelity on either side so that wasn’t the issue. I rest my case. She had the money, even if not from the sweat of her own labor and she had a devoted husband. Something was off for her. If I had to guess she was struggling from the most common ailment: unworthiness. Perhaps she didn’t feel she deserved such a luxurious life both financially and emotionally. Who’s to say?
Even people who seem to have it all may have cracks in their worthiness facade that show up in the subtlest of ways. They won’t stand up for themselves even though they command a 6-figure income. Or they act happy but are always settling for something slightly less.
You Don’t Have to do Anything
We are all born worthy and deserving. Over time with the influence of society and family that most basic of truths gets distorted. We grow up thinking that we don’t deserve good things. Some people are luckier and got the worthiness memo. But most of us didn’t.
You don’t have to do anything to be worthy. You just are. You don’t have to pretend to be what you’re not to be worthy. You just are. You don’t have to be more or better, you’re enough. You’re worthy just the way you are.
Remember what Billy Joel sang: “Don’t go trying some new fashion, Don’t change the color of your hair… Don’t go changing to try and please me…I love you just the way you are.”
Love yourself just the way you are. You’re perfect. And worthy. And deserving.
If you’re not sure of your worthiness, what do you do? Ask your intuition!
If you’re not sure how to do that, I can help you.
Many of my clients have said that they want to learn how to develop their intuition. Because of that, I developed this easy-to-follow do it at your own pace, online course. It’s packed with tips, hacks and how-to exercises.
If you want to confirm that you have it, learn how to listen to it, how to talk to it and how to trust it start by CLICKING HERE.
Once you start listening to your intuition, you’ll be amazed how much your life clicks into place. Then you can truly start enjoying yourself and get what you want out of life!
CLICK HERE to find out more
