What Do You Want?

It Helps to Know When Manifesting

You may think that’s an obvious question, but trust me, having worked with hundreds of people, I can tell you it’s not. We think we know what we want, until we have to sit down and really define it. None of this nebulous stuff. None of this, “Well, I think I want this…” wishy-washy stuff. And none of what you don’t want.

Although, I take that back. If you’re not sure what you want, reverse engineering with what you don’t want is a good starting place. Like I said, sometimes we think we know what we want, but we really don’t. Oftentimes we have a better handle on what we don’t want. That’s ok, that’s a great place to begin.

Maybe your “don’t want” is you don’t want to be in an abusive relationship anymore. Perfect. You are very clear what on you don’t want.

As we know, law of attraction brings us what we think about or focus on. If you focus on “I don’t want to be in an abusive relationship” all the Universe hears is “abusive relationship.” That’s definitely what you don’t want.

Same with, “I don’t want to be in a dead-end job anymore.” All the Universe hears is “dead-end job.”

It’s Opposite Day

Now that you know what you don’t want, it’s opposite day. What’s the opposite of an abusive relationship? One filled with love, compassion, respect, etc. What’s the opposite of dead-end job? A job with upward mobility, rewards, satisfaction etc.  

It’s quite ok if you know what you don’t want. Spell it out. Then turn it around to find the opposite. That wasn’t so hard, was it? Actually, that’s pretty easy if you give yourself a few minutes to think about it. Get out some pen and paper or your ipad and make a list of the opposite of what you don’t want. It will come easier than you think.

Be Specific

Sometimes what we want is nebulous. Like “I want a life filled with peace.” Can ya be a little more specific? What does peace look like?

Actually, I had a coaching client once who told me just that. When I asked her what she wanted out of life she said world peace. Ok, that was a really big one that she and I definitely couldn’t solve. Be realistic. Unless you’re some world leader or head honcho or some high falutin’ guru, I don’t think world peace is in your wheelhouse. Just sayin’.

Peace in your own life is more achievable. But what does it look like? The Universe doesn’t really know what to do with that. Peace as in living alone with no interruptions and disturbances? Peace as in a backyard oasis where you can go and chill out? Peace as in daily meditations? What does peace mean in your life? When you figure that out, call me. No, just kidding. When you figure that out, then you can work on manifesting that. You have to get clear and specific.

It’s like putting a destination into your GPS. If you get in your car and tell your GPS you want to go out to eat Mexican food it’d be like, “Uh, can you be a little more specific, please? Because I’m seeing 27 Mexican restaurants near you.”  You have to pick one. Then your GPS knows where to take you.

Same thing with your manifesting goals. It needs to be specific. Otherwise the Universe isn’t really sure what to bring you.

Now that doesn’t mean your goals can’t change over time. Sure, they can. Things evolve. Especially if you’re looking for a partner. Maybe you date a few guys and realize, “Whoa, I really don’t like guys who do “x” after all.” Or, I never thought about guys who do “x.” I really don’t like it. So, no guys who do “x.” That’s perfectly fine. Now you know what you don’t want. Make sure the opposite is on your list.

But Not Too Specific

If you like vision boards as a manifesting tool, be careful with your images. A client once told me when she made one, she included an image of a man holding a wine glass which represented her finding a partner. She finally met a guy, but turns out, he was an alcoholic! Next time she made a vision board she was careful not to use images involving alcohol. Little things can become big things in the manifesting world. You know the saying, “Be careful what you wish for…” It may sound silly, but be mindful of the images you use.

When I say specific, I also don’t mean down to the last detail. That’s another place where we get hung up in manifesting, especially perfectionists and “control freaks.” (I don’t say that derogatorily, it defines it well.) If we get too specific it may not be do-able. Or it may limit us because much better things are possible. Or it may turn out that “x” wasn’t really what we wanted. We wanted the blue balloon after all, not the red one. Ok, that’s a simple example, but you get the idea.  

Leave some wiggle room when writing out your manifesting goals. The Universe truly does know best. It can see possibilities that we didn’t even think about. If you thought “x” was the best you could do, but the Universe brings you “y” that’s even better, would you turn it down? I wouldn’t. Leave room. Let the Universe have the last say on what you get. You could get a really nice surprise!

Be Open to Good Surprises!

When I manifested my business, I wasn’t sure what the business would be. I left the “what” box un-checked. I didn’t know. So, I tuned into my intuition for the answer. It surprised me with the perfect answer. I didn’t try to control the situation with too many requirements or drive myself crazy with all kinds of aptitude and skills tests. I left it blank. And the Universe delivered. So, that’s what I mean about not being too specific. Have some parameters, but not down to the last detail.

Remember my post on the 6Ws? The ones you learned in school – what, when, where, why, who and how. You gotta leave some of those blank. Don’t fill them all in. Let the Universe do it. It’s not our job to fill in all of the blanks.

To recap, when manifesting be clear and be specific to a point. Leave some boxes un-checked. Let the Universe deliver them. If you know what you don’t want, turn it around to find what you do want. If what you want is a bit hazy, tighten it up. Get a little more specific.

Now, what do you want?