I Can See Clearly Now
…the rain is gone. How about if it wasn’t rain?
What if it were everyday life?
There’s always something we put off because we don’t know the outcome or how to approach it. Maybe it’s a big decision or a difficult conversation.
If we’re not sure about something, it’s like fumbling around in the dark – we don’t know what’s there.
And when you don’t know what’s there it can feel really scary like a haunted house. Have you ever been to a haunted house and felt the eyeball? Then the light comes on and you realize it’s only a grape? Then it’s not so bad, right? It was just a grape! Silly me for getting so scared over an ‘eyeball.’
Having uncertainty is like that too. We build things up in our minds, put them off, dread them. Then we don’t do it. Then we feel worse because we don’t do it.
Turn on the Lights!
But what if it wasn’t so scary?
What if you turn the lights on and realize that room you’ve been trying to navigate is your own living room? And that thing you grabbed onto in fear is really your favorite chair?
Huh, not so bad after all, right?
Facing that difficult conversation or big decision or any of life’s hurdles can be the same way.
It’s oftentimes the build up that slows us down, but when we realize it’s not so scary, then it feels much easier, lighter.
So, how do you get to that point?
Turn the lights on in the room!
By that I mean get some clarity.
Get Clear
Clarity is priceless but it’s something we often greatly undervalue. Because we don’t realize its importance. Clarity is the key that unlocks confusion, problems, issues, dreading. It’s what helps us sort things out and see them for what they really are – or aren’t.
Many of us are used to stumbling around in the dark in our lives, worrying how something will turn out or stressing over things out of our control. What if we just turned on the light? Aka got some clarity.
Clarity is the state of being clear. It’s knowing the thing isn’t so big after all or the fear is unfounded or built up to be something bigger than it was. It’s basically looking under the bed and realizing there isn’t a boogeyman under there. It was just our imagination.
Our imagination can do a lot of ‘funny’ stuff to us. It can catastrophize, panic, spiral, invent things.
But once we know that’s just our imagination playing tricks on us, it’s much easier to sort it out and move on. Getting clear is part of moving on. Once we’re clear we have more answers so we can remove the panic, the fear, the worry.
The trick is how do we get clear when we’re in the middle of a panic or freak out or even just stalled? When we’re in panic first, we have to calm down. Then we can let our mind relax and start to clear up so that we can see more options. Because when we’re in panic mode or confusion, we’re back in the dark. We don’t know where we’re going or what we’re doing. We don’t have a handy flashlight or know where the light switch is.
Once we’re calm our minds can search for answers. Clear answers, not fearful answers.
How To Get Clear
There are many ways to get clear. One way is to talk it out with a friend or family member. Having a sounding board is worth a lot more than we realize sometimes. That’s why therapy, counseling or coaching or even psychic readings are so helpful. It helps us see things for what they are, not what we think they are. Because what we think they are is often distorted, clouded by fear and worry. Talking it out can help us sort through that lens.
Another method is DIY. Examine your thoughts, then label them. When a thought comes across put it in a bucket labeled fear, worry, truth etc. Seeing the thought for what it is weakens its power. It’s a fear, not truth. Just knowing that can help us settle down immensely because it no longer has its hold on us. Once the emotions are out of the equation it’s a lot easier to think clearly. They’re just thoughts. Nothing more, nothing less. A thought doesn’t make it true.
Sometimes just writing down the thoughts also takes the sting out of them. It makes them less painful. Which is why journaling is another great option. When we get our thoughts down on paper (or digitally) it allows us to sort through them, to make sense of them, to see what’s really scary and what’s not. To see what’s really bothering us.
Maybe we didn’t realize we thought what we did. Maybe we didn’t realize we were making a bigger deal out of something than was warranted. Maybe we misinterpreted things.
And maybe, just maybe, we found the solution amongst our jumbled up thoughts.
We all have the wisdom inside of us. Only we know what’s best for us. Only we know what we really want. When we get in touch with that inner wisdom, the answers appear and clarity comes in.
Many of us need some guidance to get to that inner wisdom and that’s ok. Or even if we find the nugget of truth, we may still want a trusted second opinion or someone to listen. And that’s ok. That’s how we sort facts from fiction. That’s how we get out of the dark and turn on the lights.
If you’d like to ‘get into the light’ I’m here for you.
If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or simply ready for a different perspective, I’d love to help. I offer a complimentary 20-minute introductory conversation where we can talk about what’s going on and see whether coaching is a good fit for you.. It’s a safe space where we can talk about what you’re facing, answer any questions you have about coaching, and see if working together feels like the right next step.
Simply email me: me@catherinecates.com
