Sometimes negative thoughts crop into our heads. Or the doubts. It’s not always easy to get rid of them. Stopping negative thoughts can be like “herding cats” in that it’s not possible or it’s so overwhelming that you give up.
What You Resist, Persists
If you tell yourself, “Just don’t think about it” that can be difficult too because now you’re resisting. The more you tell yourself not to do something, the more inclined you are to do it. That’s human nature. It’s like telling a child not to stick their finger in the icing. It’s just too tempting so they’ll figure out a way to do it – when you’re not looking!
Resisting takes energy. It’s like trying to stop a train – you just can’t do it. The more we fight something, the harder it is to let it go. You know the saying: “What you resist, persists.” It’s like a boomerang. You can throw the thought away, but it’ll keep coming back. Sure, you might be able to power through your day and not think that annoying thought. But the minute you slow down, the thought comes back. Then you’re right back to where you started.
One reason troublesome thoughts keep coming back is because in actuality, we’re worried about something or afraid something might or might not happen. If the fear or anxiety doesn’t get dealt with, it won’t go away.
The key, then, is to deal with the fear or anxiety.
You don’t need to go into therapy or spend days journaling to figure it out. Follow these hacks.
Try These Hacks
One way to deal with it is first identify that it’s a fear or anxiety. Now that you know what you’re working with, it’s easier to let it go. If it’s anxiety, know that anxiety is a form of fear. If you determine your thoughts are fear-based, remember that fear isn’t real.
Remember this: FEAR = False Expectations Appearing Real
When you realize it’s not real, it’s a lot easier to let it go. For example, if you’re afraid that you’re going to get some disease yet have no symptoms or predispositions for it, it’s easy to say to yourself, that’s just my fear. What’s the likelihood of you getting bone cancer or some rare disease? Pretty slim. It’s just a fear, based on nothing. Time to put that out of your head.
If that won’t do it for you, then use this hack.
Ask Yourself This
When you have those reoccurring thoughts, ask yourself this question to settle it once and for all: “Do I really want it?”
Let’s say you’re worried your child won’t turn out right and end up in jail. Or that your someone will steal your money and you’ll be left with nothing. We know we don’t want things like that. So, ask yourself, “Do I really want to have someone take my money and be broke?” No, of course you don’t!
Next time your pesky ego interjects those negative thoughts all day, stop it dead in its tracks with, “I don’t want to be broke. I know that’s not coming true. It’s just a fear! So, stop putting that thought in my head!” You may have to do this ten, twenty times a day, especially in the beginning of using this tool. If you keep asking yourself that question every time, eventually that pesky thought will die off.
If another one takes its place, ask the same question. “Do I really want my child to end up in jail?” No, of course you don’t! Even if your child is doing something that seems precarious, it doesn’t mean he or she will end up in jail. That’s fear. If you don’t want it to happen, don’t give that thought anymore energy by continuing to think it. “Do I want that to come true?” NO! Keep asking that same question over and over until it diminishes in your head. Reminding yourself of the truth will eventually release it because it’s bringing the fear into the light of day.
Don’t Put Too Much Energy into It
Forcing, pushing, resisting, while they may work for a while, take energy. When anything takes a lot of energy eventually it causes us to run out of steam. Those strategies might work for you for ten or twenty years. Then one day you wake up and wonder why you can’t use them anymore. Because you’re mentally and energetically worn out. The constant ignoring has now drained you. The perpetual pushing it away has zapped you of your mental strength.
When that happens, pull that hack out of your back pocket. Once the irrationality or lack of logic in something is identified, releasing it is simpler. Chalk it up to “crazy talk” or nonsense or mindless chatter. It’s your mind trying to goad you. Don’t take the bait. Get the upper hand by remembering that you don’t want to think that. It serves no purpose and burns up brain cells. Your day is better spent on productive thoughts whether it’s about work or your personal life.
What we think determines our mood. If you’re thinking fearful or anxious thoughts, it affects your mood and can put you in more fear or anxiety. If you want to have a good day, then positive or at least neutral thoughts are a good place to start.
For the Visual People
If you’re a visual person and would like a visual tool, try this.
Imagine a big net like a butterfly net with large holes or if you like to cook, a colander with large holes. Or a rock sifter if you’re an outdoor person. Positive or good thoughts are the rocks (or the butterfly or the pasta) that can’t get through the holes. Those are the thoughts to keep. All the annoying, fear and anxiety producing thoughts slip though the holes in the net. That’s the waste, the pebbles.
Every time a thought comes through your head see it either going through the holes – the waste – or staying in the net – the keeper. What you end up with is a whole bunch of pretty butterflies. The flies can fly away.
If you’d rather have the butterflies, keep you asking yourself that question, “Do I really want that?” It’ll work like a charm.
If you’re not sure if your thought is anxiety or fear, ask your intuition. It will know. It will guide you.
If you want to learn how to listen to it, how to talk to it and how to trust it by CLICKING
Once you start listening to your intuition, you’ll be amazed how much your life clicks into place. Then you can truly start enjoying yourself. CLICK HERE to find out more!