Happy People Aren’t All that They Seem
Do certain happy people irritate you? Does their happiness seem forced or fake? There could be a reason why you feel that way. And it’s not because you’re a bad person!
Have you ever talked to someone who seems to relish it that you’re in a bad mood? They like the fact that you’re not in a good mood and they are. They seem to get off on the fact that you’re in a bad mood while they’re bright and sunshine-y. It makes them feel better, a tad more superior.
Typically, misery loves company. If we’re a negative person, we tend to attract negative people. Together we love to talk smack about others. Or complain about our day. Some people will even go so far as to “one-up” you. Their day was much worse than yours, doncha know?
Most of us are aware of that one-upping phenomenon.
I’m Ok, but You’re Not!
I’m talking about the people that don’t one-up you with their bad day. Instead, they present themselves as the perfect person with the perfect life by being in a perfect mood. The jollier they are, the more irritating it gets and the more your mood sinks. And the more they seem to enjoy it.
Those people.
Moods, like yawns, are contagious. That’s why it’s easy to be in a bad mood together. But when one’s up and one’s down it’s not always easy to equalize. Especially if one person uses their good mood as a shield, a façade designed to make them look good. If it makes you feel bad, that’s a bonus for them. It makes them feel better that they are in a good place and you’re not.
Who knows what they’re thinking inside their head. It could be glee that you can’t contain your emotions but they can. It could be such an ingrained behavior that they don’t consciously think that. Or they could be secretly coming up with things to say to further upset you. Sadly, there are manipulators out there who know how to expertly push your buttons. If we’re already in a bad mood, button pushing escalates it. And they know it. They are the pot-stirrers of the world. They love to shake things up even if that means you.
Whether the irritating person is doing it intentionally or is on auto-pilot the end result can be the same – you’re getting more upset while they stay or get perkier.
Strategies
What can you do about it?
When you’re already in a bad mood it’s not easy to ignore other people’s mood. But ignore you must if you can. Do your best to tune them out. Don’t let them get to you.
If it helps you to know that they’re doing it to keep you upset, then try to stop dead in your tracks and re-calibrate. Realize that you’re in a bad mood and this person will keep you there with their perky attitude. Don’t let them. Do your best to maintain self-control.
Once we realize someone’s mood is affecting us, that’s when we can pull back and not let it. If you’re unaware that their mood is affecting you, how can you know to change yours? You can’t. Now that you have this piece of information, the next time it happens check in with yourself. Is their perkiness grating on you? Is it making your mood worse? Is it upsetting you that now you know perhaps their behavior is intentional?
Even if the other person isn’t doing it intentionally at some point in their life, they realized that when they act this way they get a certain result. If the result provides them with some benefit, they’ll keep doing it. The pay-off reinforces their behavior. After a while they don’t realize that they’re doing it, hence it becomes second nature. That can be even more maddening because if you confront them about it, they’ll deny it because they don’t realize that they’re doing it. As a result, you don’t get the satisfaction of calling them out or having a mature discussion about it.
It’s Insidious
People like this can be insidious because they get positive attention and praise for being chirpy while you get frowned upon for being grumpy. Most people will not see through their chirpy act because who doesn’t love being around a happy person? That’s why it works. If you call them out in front of other people you will come out the bad guy. So, don’t bother. It’s basically a set-up and you lose.
They have the advantage of being the good guy because they’re in a good mood and you’re not. Perhaps they developed this strategy so that they don’t get called out or picked on. Who wants to pick on a happy person? It’s easier to pick on someone who’s not in a good mood because it doesn’t take much to make them worse. Once again, it’s a set-up and you lose. Now you’re the target and not them.
If you grew up around this person or known them for a long time, it’s possible that they “caused” you to get the grumpy reputation because of the contrast between their perpetual good mood and your lack thereof. No one can be quite as perky as they are, hence now you’re the grumpy one. Or irritable or difficult. Pick your adjective. That makes their behavior all the more insidious, whether intentional or not. You’re suffering from and made out to be the bad guy because of their dysfunctional behavior.
You Can Only Control You
Once again, we are left with the same conclusion when it comes to other people’s behavior: you can only control your response to them. You can’t stop them from doing it. You can only stop how you react to them. Now that you have this information, see through them. If it makes you mad, fine, but don’t let that linger or now you’re ruining your mood even further. And giving them more reason to continue.
Since you can only control your mood and responses, the best solution is to keep your mood in check as best as you can as often as you can. While that’s not the easiest thing to do, that’s all you’ve got, really. Keeping our mood in check no matter who or what is irritating us is the best way to lead a drama-free, low stress life. While we can’t remove stress completely, we can surely decrease it by how we react to things. Don’t let them get to you! Now they “won” and you lost. And no one likes to lose.
If you’re not sure why your mood is sinking around a happy person, ask your best friend, your intuition. It will know. It will guide you. It will give you the truth!
If you want to learn how to listen to it, how to talk to it and how to trust it by CLICKING
HERE. I developed this easy-to-follow online course because people like you asked me to.
Once you start listening to your intuition, you’ll be amazed how much your life clicks into place. Then you can truly start enjoying yourself. CLICK HERE to find out more!
