Do affirmations really work? That’s a topic for another day. However, I will challenge you to look at affirmations differently.
Affirmations are repeating the same phrase over and over and “hoping it sticks” basically. Meaning, we hope if we reinforce them into our subconscious enough, they’ll “take.” I’m not saying they don’t work. That’s the premise of them.
Ask a Question Instead
What if instead of forcing a phrase into your subconscious you ask a question. Let’s say your affirmation is, “Today I’m going to be happy.” Putting that out there does increase the chances that you will be happy today.
To make it more powerful, how about going an extra step? Instead of saying, “Today I’m going to be happy” what if you asked yourself, “How can I be happy today?” Because, let’s face it, stuff happens. Traffic’s bad, you’re late to work. You get there and find out that you have a sick child and have to go back home. Or your boss is on the war path and since you’re the first person he saw, you’re the target. Or you get a call from your best client letting you know she’s cancelling her service with you. You know days like that. They happen.
What do you do?
Do you go into a funk? Do you get irritable and fuss someone out for no reason? Do you hit the vending machine for your favorite junk food treat?
What happened to that affirmation, “Today I’m going to be happy?” Oh yeah, that just went out the window! Oops. Forgot about that!
Instead of starting your day with your rote mantra, have a back-up plan. “How can I be happy today?” No matter what goes wrong, who calls in sick, who gets mad at me for no reason, who cancels on me or cuts me off in traffic, I’m going to have a good day today and be happy!
What’s your plan?
What can you do to re-center yourself when things go awry? What can you do to get your mojo back so you can be happy?
Ask yourself those questions, then remember your answers or keep them handy for when the sh*t hits the fan next. While we can program ourselves to have a good day, that doesn’t mean we won’t get affected by other people’s stuff or their bad day. It’s how you respond to it that keeps your mood good.
I am Losing Weight
Let’s take another affirmation: “I am losing weight.” Who doesn’t want to lose a few pounds, right? It’s great to tell your subconscious that, seriously, it is. But just like being happy, what’s your plan?
Are you just thinking the pounds off? I’m not saying that can’t work, I just don’t know too many people it’s worked for (like none that I know personally!) so call me when that happens for you, will ya?
Are you on a diet program? Are you cleaning up your eating habits or cutting back on the drive-thrus?
It’s one thing to cut calories and eat healthy, it’s another thing to actually believe you can do it! That’s where many dieters get hung up. And that’s when affirmations can get a little sticky. If we don’t actually believe what we’re telling ourselves, then there’s a chance it might not happen. Again, a subject for another day. However, if you’re worried you can’t lose the weight for whatever reason, here’s the question you can ask yourself: “Why can’t I lose weight?”
Cuz you can.
Unless you have a physical issue preventing you from losing weight, you can do it. It’s a matter of committing to a plan and sticking to it and most importantly, believing you can stick to it and lose weight.
Every time that little nagging voice pops up in the back of your head that says, “I can’t lose weight because I never have!” or “I can’t lose weight because I always put it back on!” or “I can’t lose weight because I lack willpower” that’s when you push back.
Why can’t I?
Just because you haven’t done something in the past does NOT mean you can’t do it going forward. That’s a common fallacy that you need to get over – stat! If you want it to be different this time, then like Jean Luc Picard said, “Make it so!” You can do it!
Think you lack willpower? Let me fill you in on a secret. Dieting isn’t so much about willpower as it is mindset and desire. If you really want it, you’ll do it. Period.
Just like when you were a kid. Wasn’t there some cool toy that you wanted that your parents wouldn’t get you? Eventually you found a way to get it. You earned your own money, you made a deal with your parents, whatever, you did it.
Apply that same fortitude to your diet. You want to lose the weight badly enough, you will. Even if you fall off the rails once or twice or ten times, what’s the solution? Get back on! When your desire exceeds your doubts (or at least drowns them out!), you’ll stick to it and do it. You will.
Let’s try one more affirmation turned question.
I am Making Money
Your affirmation is, “I am making x number of dollars.” [Fill in the blank with your desired financial amount.]
That negative voice says, “Yeah, sure you are. So far, you’ve barely made ‘y’ dollars, what makes you think you can pull of ‘x’?” Or the “I’ve never made that money before so why can I now?” scenario.
Go back to the magic question, “Why can’t I?”
Of course, you can! Again, just because you didn’t in the past does not mean you can’t in the future. We’ve been programmed to think that, but it’s a lie. You CAN do it! Like your mama said, “You just have to set your mind to it.”
What’s your money plan?
Like losing weight if you’re sitting around hoping for some money to drop out of the sky, good luck with that. Let me know how that works out for you. With manifesting we always have to take action. Sorry, just true.
Get your plan together, then follow it. The only reason you won’t make the money you desire is if you get into your head and let the doubts creep in. Yes, there can be extenuating circumstances like the stock market crashed or something, but that’s out of your control. What can you control? Your mind. Your actions. Your bank account. Focus on those, not all the “what ifs.” [Having a Plan B can help too if your original plan can be easily affected by things out of your control.]
If your affirmation is about making money and you start to doubt it, then ask, “Why can’t I make money?” You may come up with ten reasons. That’s ok. That’s good, tick them off one by one. Belief bust them! Chances are good there really is no reason in your control that you can’t reach your goal! Truly. How do you think other people did it? They put in the time but they also kept their head clear and focused. So can you!
When in Doubt…
As I started out saying, I’m not implying affirmations don’t work. I promise I will write on that topic. I do believe they can work just so you know, but there are some caveats. Doubts being one of them. When the doubts kick in, ask the questions.
Or when the bad day happens, ask yourself the question. “What can I do to turn today around?” Then focus on that, not the dog ate your report, the boss is yelling at you, your boyfriend decided he prefers men, or whatever the case may be!
How do you know when to use an affirmation vs a question?
I’m gonna keep harping on this: your intuition! You’ll know. Ask yourself, am I really feeling the affirmation today? Am I having some doubts about it? That little voice will let you know. If you’re not sure what question to ask in its place, ask your intuition for some suggestions. It will tell you.
How do I know?
I just know.
Seriously, how do I know?
Because that’s how intuition works. I use mine for all sorts of things and so can you! You’ll be amazed at how much you probably already use it and don’t realize it. When you make that snap decision that feels right – that’s your intuition talking.
Use it with your affirmations and questions too.
The world is your oyster!
If you want to learn more about developing your intuition, contact me. Being connected to your intuition will help you get your life on track.