The hair on our head is something we all get attached to. It’s a symbol of vitality, youth and beauty. When we start to lose it as we age our confidence can go with it.
But there’s something else that I want to say about our hair that’s not as obvious. Ever notice a woman when she gets out of a relationship, she cuts her hair? Even if you don’t know someone who has, you may have seen famous women who do. Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift and the list goes on. It’s quite common.
Why do they do it?
New Beginnings
It’s not just a change of pace. New beginnings equals new hairstyle. A lot of women cut their hair shorter for a sense of freedom. Their hair no longer literally weighs them down or it frees up styling time.
There’s another angle you might not be aware of.
What if some women cut it off not realizing that that dead weight has been weighing them down? It’s kind of like when you trim the ends off your hair to remove the split ends but deeper than that.
The ends of our hair symbolize what was. It’s the furthest away from our scalp so it’s the oldest part. So, the urge to cut our hair after a breakup is a subconscious reflection of removing the old part, removing the past, removing the person so to speak.
Cutting our hair is a sense of freedom, out with the old, in with the new, shorter hair, even if it’s only an inch or two.
Men may cut their hair too after a breakup but it’s more common in women because we tend to wear our hair longer. This can also happen after any major life change, but a breakup is the most common. Someone might cut their hair or get a new hairstyle after the loss of a loved one or job. Or move to a new area. It signifies the change taking place in your life.
It’s a Reflection of Your State
If you ever had the urge to cut your hair you might be surprised that it’s actually a reflection of what’s going on with you. Sure, sometimes we cut our hair for convenience but that’s not what I mean. It often happens with a transition of some sort.
Sometimes, like I said, it’s just a new hairstyle. For those of you that know me you probably noticed that my hair is always pulled back with a clip. That started when my son was a baby. I wanted my hair out of my face for obvious reasons – to see better, so it wasn’t in my way etc. Also, my son would grab my hair and not only would it hurt sometimes, he’d suck on it. Babies have a tendency to do that. I didn’t want any of that to happen so the hairstyle with the clip was born! That’s a classic example of changing your hair to fit your current life circumstances. Beneath the surface, though, it also reflected a huge change for me – a journey into motherhood.
Endings
Our hair also stores energy. It may be dead, but it’s energy that once was. And like I said, the longest hair is the oldest. It stored a lot of energy and some say information. It would make sense, then, if you are going through a breakup you’d want to remove that old energy. That energy represents who you were with that person and the energy of the relationship. So, of course, you’d feel the urge to get rid of it, even though you don’t know why! When you cut that hair, you’re shedding that old identity. And a new one is born with your shorter hair.
You have to admit we look very different when we change the length or style of our hair. For many people that can be very empowering. It’s like a message of, “Look out world, here I come! The new me!” And if it literally feels lighter, that adds to the feeling of freedom. Less hair, less weight. Literally and energetically.
Image Booster
If you were struggling with how you felt about yourself in a relationship, a new hairstyle is a great way to perk you up! Look in the mirror and you look and feel refreshed. It’s like getting a new pair of shoes or purse to spruce up your outfit! With your new hairstyle as your crowning glory to complete the ensemble.
It’s a symbolic way to show “out with the old, in with the new!” It’s releasing the past and embracing new beginnings.
If you’re open to changing the color of your hair, that also enhances this new image. If you went from long and dark to short and red – wow! What a change. That truly is a symbol of ready for change!
Momentum or Premature
Maybe, just maybe, cutting your hair before you’re ready for a change can help build momentum for that transition. It’s a way of telling yourself, “See! We can do this! This is just the start!”
Or cutting it prematurely could also mean you weren’t ready for that change.
The good thing about hair – it always grows back!
When I was a teenager, I had very long hair as was the style. Then girls started to cut their hair much shorter and style it versus long and straight. Since teens are trendy, I had to get on that bandwagon. I remember coming home from getting my hair chopped off. I didn’t particularly like the way the man styled it so I couldn’t see the true effect.
I just remember running to my room, plopping face down on my bed and crying and crying! At first my mom didn’t know why I was crying. Through tears and blubbering I explained because I didn’t like this new short hairstyle. True to mom, her advice was practical – “Well, it’ll grow back!” When you’re in the midst of a teenage crisis that’s not what you want to hear but she was right. Hair does grow back.
Turns out I figured out how to style it with my type of hair that flattered me best and let it stay that length for several years. All was not lost.
It’s Tied to Our Identity
I never thought of this until now but perhaps part of my tears was the loss of my identity. I liked my hair long. When I was a little girl, my mom always kept my hair short because it was easy for her. But I never liked it and felt it never flattered me. I had no say in the matter until as she told me, I was old enough to care for it on my own.
And that’s exactly what I did. As I got older, I let it grow and grow until it reached my waist. My long hair then symbolized the independence to keep it the way I wanted it without any parental interference. It was MY hair kept the way I wanted it. And when you’re a tween and teen, we know how important that is!
Cutting it off so short was not just a hairstyle adjustment, it was an identity adjustment. I didn’t realize how much the shorter hair really affected me on many different levels.
Next time you have the urge to cut your hair, follow your urge. But also take a moment to examine why you’re doing it if you feel so inclined. It might reveal more about your inner self and situation than you realize.
Just remember – hair grows back!
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