Who hasn’t had to learn the hard way? For those of us who learn from that, hopefully there isn’t a second time.
Life lessons start an early age. When children are little, we teach them not to get too close to the stove lest they burn their hand. This is done for their own protection. Obedient children will comply. Not-so-obedient children will test the waters. It’s those children you have to be on the look-out for. They are the ones that will burn their hands metaphorically. And more.
Some kids just don’t learn easily or willingly. They have to prove to themselves it was a bad idea even if they were forewarned. They keep repeating mistakes, never to learn from them. Sadly, they often grow up into adults that do the same thing. It’s one thing to parent a child who won’t learn, it’s another to help an adult or adult child who won’t.
These same people keep repeating the same or similar results over and over again without learning from them. We know the definition of that one – insanity.
Why are they like that?
There are many reasons. For the child or young adult, it’s inexperience. For one the brain doesn’t finish developing until age 25. Combine that with lack of experience gained by older adults to realize when to do something and when not to. The inexperienced people keep stepping in it because they don’t see it. The older we get, we’re supposed to get smarter, but it doesn’t always work out that way.
Suffering from the “I’ll Do it My Way” Syndrome
For others it could be stubbornness. It’s the attitude of “I won’t do it that way just because you told me to!” We know how far that gets you – not very. Stubborn people often cut off their nose to spite their face. To extend that analogy they’d rather go without a nose because it was their choice. How well does that work? Again, not very. But, they did it their way, which is what they want.
Brute force doesn’t work, but hard heads try it anyway! And keep banging their head against the wall.
They think they know best. Call it arrogance, call it inexperienced. It could come from either place. If they lack experience, then they don’t realize that they don’t know best. It’s ignorance.
If it’s arrogance then they suffer from an inflated sense of self where they think they can do things that perhaps they cannot. They think they know how to do it already or that they never make mistakes. Either way it can lead to the same end result – learning the hard way.
Pride also prevents us from learning from experience. We don’t want to ask for help. Perhaps because we don’t want to look stupid. Or we just want to take all the credit so we don’t ask others for input. In the end, foolishness, pride, is the roadblock.
Some people are so routine based that their solution is to do it the way they’ve always done it. These types don’t think too hard about a new solution or the consequence of repeating a behavior that perhaps doesn’t line up with the situation. It’s an attitude of “it’s always worked for me.” It’s true, it might, but sometimes it doesn’t. That’s when it’s time to find a new way. Often, they won’t. They keep trying expecting the same results. Again, definition of insanity.
That’s when considering a new way would be more advantageous, which goes along with being close-minded. They aren’t open to suggestions or don’t care how others have successfully done it. They don’t believe that another way can work. This is the attitude of “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” Some people consider themselves the old dog and refuse to see another way. News flash – you CAN teach an old dog new tricks and we humans can change as we age. You just have to want to. They don’t. Hence, they are close-minded.
Lastly, some people are stuck in fear. They are afraid that your way, or the common or sensible way, won’t work so they have to do it their way – the hard way – to learn from it. They have to try it to believe their way won’t work. In other words, they have to see it to believe it. Then they may relent and gingerly try the common way. It takes seeing their failure, perhaps repeatedly, to see it won’t work.
The School of Hard Knocks and How to Graduate
My question is why go to the school of hard knocks when you don’t have to? The school of hard knocks is reserved for those that don’t learn from negative experiences. They are the ones outlined above. The “do it the hard way” people. Put away your pride, open your mind and consult an expert or take a page from an experienced person and put it to use. These days we’d call it a hack. We’d use google or youtube for answers.
My older sister is very stubborn. Because of her stubbornness she learned some very big life lessons the hard way. Big ones. Being the youngest I had plenty of time to witness her epic fails. As a result, I promised myself that I would never make those particular mistakes. And I didn’t. I took the experience of an elder and did the opposite. That’s being smart about it.
You don’t have to get shot to know that it hurts! Some people figuratively do. Why let yourself go there? Learn from your mistakes. Journal them if it helps you to see them in black and white. No one has to read them except you. Talk to a reasonable level-headed friend or family member for advice before jumping in head first. Do a pros vs cons list to weigh your options.
The biggest piece of advice that I can give you: think before you act or speak! Really think about it. It’s the impulsiveness that causes us to act first, think later, then deal with the consequences. That can work for simple things sometimes, but not the big stuff.
Take your own advice. If you had a friend in a similar situation, what would you tell him or her? If it’s good advice, then apply it to yourself. We often don’t take our own advice. We can see everyone else’s life clearer than our own. Because of that we often come up with good suggestions for others, but don’t take them to heart for ourselves. Listen to yourself if your inner guidance is strong.
Which brings me to my most important recommendation – listen to your intuition! Your intuition truly is your best friend and won’t steer you wrong! It doesn’t judge you. It doesn’t criticize you. It gives you the truth and the best guidance you can have. So why not take it? Your life will be easier if you do and you’ll graduate from the school of hard knocks. That’s what helped me and it can help you too!
Do you want to stop learning the hard way? Then consult your best friend, your intuition!
Do you want to develop your intuition?
If you want to learn how to listen to it, how to talk to it and how to trust it by CLICKING
HERE.
Once you start listening to your intuition, you’ll be amazed how much your life clicks into place. Then you can truly start enjoying yourself. CLICK HERE to find out more!
