Most of us have been taken in by manipulators at some point in our lives. They could’ve shown up as anyone. Not just as a lover or a partner but they could be a teacher, parent, neighbor, salesman – anyone. How far we fell or how much we lost could vary greatly. You could’ve just been a sucker for a good deal that didn’t turn out to so good.
Whatever the case may be, the point is, most of us have been manipulated at some point by someone. Don’t beat yourself up for it. It happens. Move along. There’s nothing here to see!
Why do We get Taken in?
Because they’re good at it! It’s seamless for them. It comes naturally like breathing. They don’t have to work at it, they just are.
When I was inspired to write this my guides were showing me an image that I’ll share with you. If you know cats then you’ll know that they can squish into very narrow spaces. Ever seen one get under a bed or a doorway that you didn’t think had enough clearance? I have. It’s pretty amazing! It’s like they have no skeleton how squishy and flexible they can be.
Manipulators are like that. They can get into the cracks. They can get around your defenses. They can get under your barriers. Just when you think you wouldn’t fall for their smooth talking, they gotcha! It can be something as simple as your baby sister talking you into taking out the trash when it was her turn and you were 9 years old! You fell for it. You didn’t see it coming.
Well, you’re not 9 anymore and probably not even twenty-nine. Neither am I. Far from it. We’re old enough to know better, right? Not necessarily. Some of us keep falling for the smooth operators our entire lives! You don’t need to be eighty-nine and still getting ripped off.
Let’s stop falling for the big manipulators now. You might still get taken in by the cute kid next door who asks you to donate for their school project, but that’s harmless. Don’t fall for the big-talkers. Don’t fall for the home-wreckers.
If you succumbed to the manipulation and allowed some type of dialogue, don’t beat yourself up. If you want to cut it off now here’s what you do. If you have a pesky rodent that keeps slinking under your back door, what would you do? If getting a new door isn’t in the cards, then you might put a towel under there or roll up some old socks, right? In other words, you BLOCK them out.
So, get out your phone and block that pesky manipulator. You already told him no; you already broke up with him and he can’t let go. Drastic times call for drastic measures. Block him.
You can give him the warning shot first and tell him no more contact or I’ll have to block you. He fires off another text. Oops, now he’s blocked. Stick to your guns! Those old timey pirates didn’t put down their cannons when the enemy fired at them. They kept firing back. It’s called defense.
Thankfully you’re not on a pirate ship out in the middle of the ocean and you don’t have to make life-or-death decisions. Just block the guy (or gal). It will give you peace of mind when your phone stops buzzing from his calls and texts.
Your energy is better spent on improving your people discerning skills so that you don’t get taken for a ride again.
Use Your Super Power, not Theirs!
How do you do that?
Some people say they read people well. What does that mean exactly? It means they’re picking up information on that person via their intuition. We can all do that. You may not think that you can, but you can. If you already can do it, then make sure you’re using that super power next time you meet someone. Don’t let your guard down. Always use your super power, your intuition.
Since we’re talking about super powers… Manipulators see their manipulative abilities as their super power. Those of us who aren’t first degree manipulators don’t see that as a plus. It’s not an asset to us. It’s not anywhere close to being on our super power list! It doesn’t even make the cut! For them, it’s their number one asset. Because they know that they’re good at it.
Some manipulators are well aware of what they’re doing, others are not. Some are sometimes. Even we can be the occasional manipulator. It’s not a “career” or a way of life for us, but we all do it to some degree at some time. That’s just being human.
They Don’t Want to Give Up Their Super Power
Master manipulators, however, see that as their asset. As such, they don’t like to give it up. Would you like to give up your best feature or number one super power? No, didn’t think so. Me neither. Stands to reason then neither do they. Therefore, they don’t usually stop being manipulators.
Addicts are generally great manipulators. The way they stop is by going to treatment. For non-addict, career manipulators (that’s someone who does it like second nature all the time), the only way they stop is some type of treatment or self-awareness. Treatment for them can be increasing their level of awareness so they know when they do it. If they have the desire to stop, they can. If they don’t, or don’t see the value in doing so, they won’t.
If you see through them and manipulating you no longer works, chances are good they’ll move on to the next person that they can manipulate. Path of least resistance. You can’t blame them, that’s human nature. At least you’re no longer their target.
They might try at your request to stop manipulating but eventually it becomes a Band-Aid on a gusher. It can no longer control the flow. The manipulator can no longer control their impulse to manipulate. So, they go back to it. It wasn’t their idea to stop it, it was yours. They tried, they couldn’t. That’s generally how that story goes. Unless they really want to stop it, they won’t.
Can You Be with a Smooth Operator?
Is it possible to be in a relationship with a manipulator?
Yes. As with anyone, it’s best to stay aware. If you can see the manipulation coming, have a strategy to avoid it or roll with it. If you fight it, complain about it, resist it, then you’ll get worn out and eventually tired of the other person, which isn’t a bad thing. It just might make it harder for you to move on because you’re still torn, but tired.
I’m not saying you should stay with them one way or another. That’s an individual choice. What am I saying is if you choose to be in a relationship with a manipulator, be aware when they’re laying it on thick and have a way to deal with it. That looks different for every person. What works for you may not work for someone else.
Let’s face it, manipulators are usually enjoyable to be around in some form or we wouldn’t be with them. The things they say or do make us feel good or special. If it works for you, learn to roll with it. If that’s a deal breaker for you, then remember the towel under the door: block them.
Most importantly, remember your own super power, your intuition, to spot them a mile off. Pulling out your secret weapon will save you a lot of heart ache and time if you don’t want to get taken in by a smooth talker. If you do, then ignore your alarm when it goes off. That’s ok too, it’s a choice.
If you’re not sure that you have that super power of intuition, I can assure you that you do. You’re human. You’re wired for it. You just may not be aware that you have it.
If you’re not sure if you someone is a manipulator or not, use your super power, your intuition to find out. If you’re not sure that you have intuition or if you’re really hearing it, there’s a way to find out.
If you want to confirm that you have it, learn how to listen to it, how to talk to it and how to trust it start by CLICKING HERE.
Once you start listening to your intuition, you’ll be amazed how much your life clicks into place. Then you can truly start enjoying yourself and get what you want out of life!
CLICK HERE to find out more!