It’s common to get overwhelmed, frustrated or insecure when trying a new thing or learning a new skill because we’re afraid that we’ll never get it.
It’s kind of like a baby learning to walk. They haven’t done it but eventually they do. Have you ever seen a five or thirty-five-year-old still crawling? No. Humans eventually get it, they walk.
The same is true for you as an adult. Just because you haven’t done it doesn’t mean you can’t do it. It means you can do it; you just haven’t done it…yet.
Remember that.
All good things take time and practice. Think back to any skill that you have mastered – cooking, coding, painting, gardening etc. You had to learn. You had to be taught or taught yourself. Maybe you watched videos or read how-to books. However you learned, you needed time and know-how to do it.
Apply that to anything that you’re concerned about having or achieving in your life.
Leave the Door Open
When we think that we can’t do something, we’re in a fixed mindset, stuck in limiting beliefs. Those are the kind that hold us back. These types of thoughts are not empowering. Instead, they set us up for failure because we’re convinced that we can’t do, can’t have, can’t be whatever. Or we stay stuck, always wanting, never getting.
Make yourself feel better by adding one tiny little word to the end of your concerns. “I haven’t done it…yet.”
“Yet” implies that it can happen, it will happen. The future isn’t here so it can still occur. That’s cause for hope. It doesn’t limit or shut you down. It opens doors; not closes them with fear or worry.
“Yet” makes room for possibilities. It’s open-ended. It allows for curiosity about what might take place vs capping it off. All eventualities are possible in this sphere. There are no limits. Think big. Dream big.
Add the Word “Yet”
“I’ve never had a good relationship!” All that means is so far you haven’t. But it doesn’t mean that you can’t have one. Turn that into: “I haven’t had a good relationship…yet.”
“I’m not good with money!” Maybe you haven’t been up until today, but you can start right now. Get online, watch videos, research it, hire someone. Turn that into: “I’m not good with money…yet.”
“I’m scared I can’t be a [fill in the blank with a profession] …” No need to be scared. If you aren’t qualified for it, get some training, certification, go back to school etc. Turn that into: “I’m scared I can’t be a [fill in the blank] because I haven’t done it…yet.”
“I can’t do or fix this!” What’s the first thing people do these days when they’re DIY-ing? Or learning to play guitar? Watch a youtube video! Get proficient. You can’t know if you can do it unless you try. Turn that into: “I can’t do it…yet.”
“I can’t do it YET, but I CAN once I get the knowledge, training, skills etc.”
Doesn’t that feel more hopeful? More achievable?
Fact Check Yourself
In your heart of hearts do you really believe that you’ll NEVER have a…fill in the blank? Or NEVER become a…fill in the blank?
Think back to all the things that you’ve done in your life. Or all the skills that you’ve mastered. Or all the promotions or career climbing you’ve done.
What do they all have in common?
Time, practice and knowledge.
Logic dictates that just because something hasn’t happened, doesn’t mean that it can’t. Believing that it can’t is faulty reasoning unless there’s an unsurmountable obstacle. Even then there’s often a work-around.
It’s only fear that uses words like “never” and “I can’t.” Therefore, you can, you just haven’t…yet. And you can’t unless you try.
Just remember that facts are provable; there’s evidence behind them. Worries are not proven. They’re fear-based beliefs that something hasn’t happened but might. Because beliefs are not always true. They’re a subjective acceptance that something is true. But may not be. We can believe the sun won’t come up tomorrow but that doesn’t make it true.
Whereas facts are true because they’ve already happened or there’s proof that they will happen like the sun will come up tomorrow.
Would you rather invest your mental energy into something that might happen, something that you’re afraid might happen? Or stick with the facts? The facts say that you’ve already accomplished things in your life so there’s a good likelihood that you will again. With time, practice and knowledge.
Make It So
Anything and everything is possible. Just “make it so” as Jean Luc Picard said.
How do you make it so?
Take inventory of yourself and be honest. We all have limitations. If you can’t do something, then figure it out, get the training or the certification etc. Make a plan. If we really want to do something, we usually find a way.
Think back to when you were a kid. You really wanted that popular toy, so you found a way to get it. The easiest way was to put it on your birthday or Christmas list. If that didn’t work, there was always a way whether it was buttering up a favorite uncle or agreeing to extra chores. Kids are good at thinking outside the box. Sometimes as adults we forget that skill.
Put your thinking cap on. Brainstorm with friends. Tap people for ideas. Whatever you gotta do. You can figure this out if you want to because achieving things also takes commitment to the goal.
Check Your Mindset
Then most importantly check your thoughts. Stop thinking that you can’t do it and start thinking that you can do it. Remember that just because you haven’t done it doesn’t mean that you can’t. It just means you haven’t done it yet. Every time you catch yourself thinking that way, course correct.
It’s easy to see how we can conclude that because we haven’t done it means we can’t do it. That’s where my favorite three letter word, “yet,” comes into play. You haven’t done it yet. But you can.
Remember to ask yourself: If you want to learn to ride a motorcycle or crochet or play the guitar but you’ve never done it, does that mean you can’t? No. Like the infant who hasn’t begun to walk, it just means you haven’t, but you can. If you want to. If you do, take some lessons. Be committed to your desire.
One last tip. Don’t add more stress to yourself to be the best. If you want to learn something, learn it. That isn’t saying settle for mediocre, just don’t put undue pressure on yourself by setting the bar too high thus setting yourself up for failure. Failure is the “proof” that the mind mistakenly looks for to confirm you can’t do it. You can, just not….yet.
Engage that tiny but powerful 3-letter word the next time you’re uncertain. You might be surprised how uplifting it can be. And just remember… the best is yet to come!
Since I’m sharing my tips with you, here’s one more. If you’re not sure that you can do something, ask your intuition! It will guide you. It won’t steer you wrong! It’s your built-in GPS for success!
If you want to learn how to listen to your intuition, how to talk to it and how to trust it by CLICKING
HERE.
Once you start listening to your intuition, you’ll be amazed how much your life clicks into place. Then you can truly start enjoying yourself. CLICK HERE to find out more!
