Recently the Queen of England died. I’m sure you heard about it as it made worldwide news. One of the mottos of the royal family has been, “Never explain, never complain.” They are referring to their public behavior. I have no idea if that applies to their personal lives.
However, not complaining is an admirable way to live our personal lives. It’s not easy to do. I know I’m guilty of my fair share of it because I get caught up in my family of complainers. That’s when I realize I’ve been hooked into it too much and have to pull back. it serves no purpose. No productive purpose.
Sure, it can feel good at the moment to get something off of your chest, especially if you’re venting to a confidante. Since none of us are perfect, I personally don’t have a problem with it if you can limit your complaining time. Give yourself five minutes to get it out. Then cut it off.
One reason complaining isn’t productive is because it lowers our frequency. Instead of being in the higher frequency realms of kindness, gratitude or compassion, we’re stuck in b*tching, moaning and complaining. Just talking about it my vibration goes down. I can feel my energy being lowered as I write about this. I write this for your enlightenment. The good news is I know the antidote. When I finish writing this I will get back into a higher frame of mind and not stay stuck in this. Since I am not actively complaining, but explaining it, it’s easier to get out of.
When you’re stuck in it, it’s harder to get out of it. Once you start engaging in it it’s easier to engage in other lower vibrational behaviors such as blaming, judging, smack talking etc. They go hand-in-hand with complaining. It’s like drinking a soda. Sodas encourage you to eat junk food. They’re designed that way. Can you imagine having a coke and fresh, steamed broccoli? No. They don’t go together. But coke and pizza do. Or coke and chips. Or coke and popcorn. You name it. But not healthy food.
Complaining encourages you to get that super-sized soft drink, that Big Gulp. Ever go into a 7-11 and hunt for healthy food? It’s almost non-existent. 7-11 and healthy don’t go together. That’s why I don’t shop there. If you’re hungry for chips, they’ll have many varieties to satisfy your cravings. If you want broccoli, go to Sprouts.
If you want to have a good day and feel mentally healthy, don’t shop at 7-11, ie. don’t complain. It’s one and the same. [No offense, 7-11, you serve a purpose.]
Make the Choice to Break the Habit
Complaining is a habit. I’ve seen it with my family. It’s their currency. Don’t have anything else to talk about? Start complaining about another sibling and now you can talk for hours! I grew up with it and sadly I all too often fall back into it when conversing with my family. I have to make a conscious choice not to do it, especially when I talk with them. Make a choice to break the habit.
Habits don’t break overnight so be patient with yourself if you slip up. Stay consistent, keep reminding yourself not to go there and you will kick it to the curb. One way to stop it is not to associate with other complainers. Or if they’re your family that you want to stay in touch with, limit your time. Or change the subject when the complaining starts. Or leave the room.
Another thing about my family: if you take the high road and choose not to engage in these behaviors, you run the risk of being called out as “the saint.” “Oh, yeah, she doesn’t talk about THAT.” Being labelled as above it all doesn’t help your willpower to get out of that system. Keep walking out of the room if they start calling you the saint or anything similar. Hold fast. As Dori said, “Just keep swimming!”
The Most Important Reason
The most important reason not to complain other than it’s not kind is it doesn’t serve you. When you complain you don’t improve. You don’t move up the spiritual ladder. You stay stuck in old, low frequency behavior. Letting go of complaining is imperative if you want to improve/ascend/be enlightened, pick your term. The Ascended Masters ascended for a reason. They transcended our typical human low frequency behaviors, complaining being one of the bigees.
If you don’t know about or understand the Ascended Masters per se look to other masters – Jesus, Buddha etc. They practiced forgiveness, not complaining. They practiced love, not unkindness. Remember the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.”
You wouldn’t want to walk by the proverbial water cooler at work only to hear your co-workers complaining about you. That doesn’t feel good. Or worse yet, have the object of your complaints walk by as you list their inadequacies. It’s not just about being “found out.” Do you really want to act that way? I don’t. But I have to get honest with myself when I catch myself doing it with my sisters. Falling into that old habit again. Time to get back on the wagon and stop it.
Don’t look at it as taking the never-ending high road. High road implies there’s a low road: everyone else. We’re not better than the complainers. We just choose not to engage in a behavior that really doesn’t feel good. If they want to, that’s their business, but we don’t. It’s like choosing not to drink that Big Gulp. It’s fine if your neighbor does it but you don’t have to because it doesn’t feel good to you. Get juice or fizzy water instead ie. choose kindness.
Take this Challenge
Look at it this way. Take the “tombstone challenge” as I have just named it. Do you want your tombstone to read, “Champion complainer?” Or something like, “Loving wife, mother and daughter?” Do you want people to remember you as that nasty one who always talks smack about others? (Of course, the ones you complained with probably won’t see you that way.) Or the one who was kind and compassionate with ne’er a bad word about others?
How do you want to be remembered? Let that be some food for thought to break the complaining habit.
If you’re not sure that you trust yourself to stop complaining, then trust your intuition to let you know. If you’re not hearing your intuition, I’ll show you how!
If you want to learn how to listen to it, how to talk to it and how to trust it by CLICKING
Once you start listening to your intuition, you’ll be amazed how much your life clicks into place. Then you can truly start enjoying yourself and get what you want out of life!
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