Let Go of the Need to be Right
Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy is the old saying? Many people feel the need to be right. You know some of them – the “know-it-all” types. They know everything. They’re always right and we’re wrong. Doesn’t make you wanna be around them, does it?
Then there’s others who you wouldn’t necessarily call a “know-it-all” but they have to be right. I know people like that and I bet you do too. If you don’t know any personally, just look at social media. They’re all over the place. Both people think they’re right. So why bother arguing about it is my question. No one is going to win.
Why do people feel the need to be right? There are many reasons. One can be superiority – they want to feel superior over others. Deep inside they have a low opinion of themselves so being right makes them look better – or so they think.
Under all of that is control. People want to be right because they want to be in control. Why do people want to be in control? Because they’re afraid. Fear seems to almost always be at the root of just about everything!
It’s like people who don’t like to drink or take drugs (not that I’m condoning either). They don’t like them because they don’t like to feel out of control. Why? Because they’re afraid of something (other than the obvious dangers of drugs and alcohol) – afraid they might loosen up and as a result, what they might say or do.
Some control in life is good but taken to the extreme, like anything else, isn’t good. Take eating for example. Having some self-control keeps us from being overweight. Having too much self-control can lead to anorexia. Having no self-control leads to being overweight.
Not Being Open-Minded
If we’re always in control, if we’re always right, then we’re not open-minded. We may think we are, but really, we’re just giving it lip-service. If people can open the door a crack, that’s a start to letting in alternative points of view, new information and ideas.
What happens if we never let in new information, if we’re not open to new ideas? We stay close-minded. What’s wrong with staying close-minded, I kind of like it here you might ask. If you like it, I’m not here to judge, I’m just saying there’s a whole world of information and ideas out there you might be missing out on by staying close-minded.
The biggest negative effect being close-minded and the need to be right have is not being in touch with our higher self and our intuition.
It Cuts Off Our Connection to Source
It’s through our intuition that we are connected to the Divine/Source/God whatever you want to call it, and ourselves, our higher selves. If we want that connection, letting go of the need to be right, really needs to go. When you need to be right, you’re coming from your ego, not your higher self. When we come from our ego, we block messages from the Divine, because all we hear is our ego talking. Our ego wants to think it’s always right, but news flash, often it isn’t.
Our ego is based in fear, anxiety, control, and all of those other things that aren’t uplifting. Our ego thinks it’s keeping us safe by not connecting to our higher truth. We can’t blame the ego, really, it was designed for that role. But it’s not doing us any favors when it comes to plugging in. The ego is like using those child-proof outlet protectors. It thinks it’s keeping us safe when really, we need to take off the darn protector and plug in! Plug in to our higher self, higher knowledge, our intuition.
How do You Stop Being Right or Close-Minded?
As with all things, the first step to change is to be aware of it. Notice when you do it. Start paying attention to what you’re thinking and saying. If someone calls you out on it, take it in, don’t immediately jump to defend yourself. If you want to change, you have to get out of defense mode.
Second, get out of your comfort zone a bit. Read something you wouldn’t normally read or watch a video you’d normally blow off. Or be open-minded when your friend starts talking about something that you’d normally label wacky. This is all part of stretching yourself. Open the crack in the door just a bit more.
Third, and most important, respect others’ opinions. Opinions are like you know what, we all have one. It’s true, we all have opinions. They’re just that – what we think. Just because we think it, doesn’t mean it’s true. Just because it’s a popular theory or widely-held belief system doesn’t make it true.
People are entitled to believe what they want. You wouldn’t like it if someone attacked you for your belief system, so it’s best not to attack others for theirs. Or make fun of them or insist you’re right and they’re wrong. They can believe what they want and so can you. Doesn’t make either one of you right or wrong, it just is what you believe.
Bottom line, then, is if you want to connect with your higher self, with Source/God/Universe etc. and have access to your intuition, let go of being right. Be open to new ideas and opinions. When you let go, new information can come in. Your intuition can kick in.
As they say in the 12-step programs, “Let Go and Let God.” Let go of the need to be right and let your intuition come in.