One of the symptoms of waking up is changing relationships whether it’s divorce, break-ups, terminate old friendships or distance yourself from toxic family. It’s very common for this to happen because your vibration is changing and increasing. The people you once resonated with you no longer do – even spouses.
It’s hard, but not impossible, to have relationships with people who aren’t conscious or waking up when you are. Maybe your supposed friend says things that no longer seem funny or appropriate or their constant judging gets on your nerves. Things like that. Negative people bring you down too much so you don’t want to be around them.
If you haven’t ended friendships or distanced yourself from people yet and you are on your journey of waking up, then there’s a good chance you might. If you have surrounded yourself with pretty healthy people, then maybe you will not. Reasons for leaving a relationship are so varied. It depends on your values and beliefs, bottom line. It’s a very personal decision.
Ghosting or Ghosted?
What if you are losing friends for another reason? All of the sudden people are ghosting you? People you once had relationships with now won’t speak to you or you have limited contact. What’s that about?
It could mean you may be lacking some social awareness. Maybe you aren’t taking responsibility for your actions (taking responsibility is the hallmark of being awake and conscious). In the course of not taking responsibility maybe you are annoying or upsetting people. So instead of the one being annoyed, maybe you are doing the annoying?
The reason I bring this up is not to make anyone feel bad because that is never my intention. Rather, to give you something to think about. In the course of my waking up I’ve had to let go of some relationships. One in particular I never counted as a good friend. The more I woke up and saw her for who she was, the less I wanted to be around her.
First Grader vs Sixth Grader
Please understand I am not criticizing anyone if they are not as awake or socially aware. We all start out as un-awake so we have no room to judge IMO. I cannot in good conscience criticize anyone who isn’t as awake. It’s like the first grader vs the sixth grader. The sixth grader isn’t better than the first grader. The sixth grader has just been in school longer. Those who are awake aren’t any better than those who aren’t. They’ve just been on their path longer. Period. Ok, now that we’ve got that straightened out….
As I started to wake up, I saw less of certain people because I no longer resonated with them. Doesn’t make them bad and me better. Just means we weren’t at the same level. They may be one day, but today they aren’t. And today I didn’t want to be around them.
You may know some people like that. I’ll throw out a few scenarios so you can see what I mean. They might push in line in front of you, then act like nothing happened, they may say rude or “off-color” things to you, they may put you down in front of others (to me it’s especially disheartening when they try to blow it off as a joke if they’re caught out in it), they may stand you up often for lunch, dinner, a movie, whatever your plans were. They may try to steal your boyfriend, clients, friends. They gossip about you or ignore you one minute and the next minute they’re your best friend.
If any of these sound familiar then you know someone like that. I’m sure there are a million more scenarios that you may recognize. Some people who do these things truly are mean-spirited and small minded (aka they aren’t awake by any means). Others are just clueless or rather, un-awake. It’s the un-awake ones who aren’t mean-spirited I’m talking about here. (I don’t mean clueless as a derogatory term.) They’re not bad people, they aren’t mean-spirited, they just probably don’t know they’re doing these things. Because you are waking up, now their behavior irritates, upsets, annoys (fill in the blank with your choice of adjective) you to the point where you just don’t want to be around them.
If you’re on the receiving end of being ghosted or let go as a friend, you might want to look within. Examine your behavior. Don’t rely on the person who is no longer your friend to explain it to you. They may or may not be willing to.
I’ve also been in the spot of being ghosted. There is one friend to this day I still don’t know what I did. There’s always the off chance (this could apply to you too) that I did nothing. Maybe it was all about them. Maybe they were going through a rough time and didn’t want to get together anymore. Who knows? All I know is there were a few incidents in my life where I didn’t know then and all these years later, I still don’t know what I may or may not have done. It’s so long ago now it’s water under the bridge. But it happened to me.
Your People Discernment Improves as You Wake Up
One thing I’ve noticed on my journey in waking up is I have better discernment about people. Now, I am psychic, but that doesn’t mean as a psychic you have good people discernment or that you apply it to your life. Being psychic can mean that, but not always.
Looking back, I had vibes off of people I was friends with and cut loose, but couldn’t put a finger on it. There were “warning signs” that I didn’t see. Now I see them clear as a bell. But then? No. Even when I cut some of these people loose, I didn’t have the words I have today to describe what I sensed in them. I just knew it was no longer working for me to be their friend. Today I can give clear voice to what I was picking up in them but didn’t know how to describe it then. I guess you can call it hindsight if you want, but I prefer to see it as now I have more discernment so I can describe what I couldn’t then. It also means if I pick up those vibes or any other behavior that doesn’t resonate with me going forward, I will choose not to be their friend. We don’t have to be friends with everyone. It doesn’t mean they’re a bad person, they’re just not resonating with you. That’s ok.
With one person in particular I have to give myself credit for listening to my gut. I knew she was a big gossip because she would gossip to me. Rule #1 in case you aren’t sure – if someone gossips to you, they’re gossiping to others too. I knew that rule so I was glad I clammed up when it came to personal matters. She probed a lot, like a lot. Was she just being curious? Was she seeking juicy gossip? Did she maybe not realize how nosey she was? Did she just lack poor social skills? The end result wasn’t good because I felt like I was being interrogated. I get it when you make new friends you ask questions to get to know each other, but it should come organically, not like you’re being interviewed. I can tell you from hindsight now that it wasn’t just her lacking good social skills. She wasn’t very awake or conscious of how her behavior was perceived by others. All I know is her behavior didn’t feel good to me. I no longer resonated with her, not that I really did in the beginning either looking back.
If someone isn’t displaying good friend behaviors, but you choose to take them on, then my advice is to proceed with caution. You may get burned if you expect what they aren’t capable of. See them for who they are and be aware of their behavior. Put them in the acquaintance category if you really want to keep them around or if they run in the circles you do. Don’t expect them to be a good friend if they’re not capable. Then it’s “your bad” if you expect them to be a good friend.
This May Sound like High School Behavior
In case you’re wondering, this may sound like high school behavior, but guess what? You may have physically left high school many years ago, but it doesn’t mean people grow past that behavior. Only if they are willing to step onto the path of awakening will they abandon that behavior. Heck, I know people in their 60s who are still struggling with these issues whether on the receiving end of being ghosted or doing the ghosting.
If you are on the receiving end of someone not wanting to be your friend anymore, then you might want to dig a little deeper. Do some introspection, examine your behavior. Do the litmus test to see if you pass it. It could a sign that you have some growing to do. Or it could mean you outgrew them. It’s normal for relationships to fall apart during self-awakening. It’s just hard when you are the one who is losing the friendship because you don’t know what you did. Now might be a good time to dig deeper and see how you are being perceived.
If you are the one choosing to end the relationship, it is a sign that you are moving forward on your path and weeding our relationships that no longer work for you. Don’t feel bad about it. You may still like the person as a person, but if their behavior isn’t resonating with you, protect your energy and cut your losses.