People don’t like it when you change. Ever notice that? You go on a diet and they tell you that you don’t need to lose weight. You get a new hair style and they say you looked great before, why change?
You’d think they’d be happy for us, right?
Why is that?
Because when we change it upsets their world. Part of it is because when you change, then they feel they have to change. Now they feel pressured to change too. Most people don’t like change. Why? Because it’s scary. It’s unknown. Or it’s difficult. Or they think it’s difficult. It doesn’t matter whether it really is or they just think it is. It’s the same either way.
The thing is, if you feel moved to make any type of change, do it. Don’t wait for others. Don’t wait for other’s approval. Just do it. If it feels right to you, that’s all that matters. Be smart about it, of course, but make the change if you feel inspired to do so.
If you wait on others or other’s approval, then you may never make the change. If they’re not ready for you to change, that’s on them. You have to do what feels right to you.
It would be nice if your loved ones would support your change. But, like I said, it could be a matter of them not being comfortable with change. You have to do it anyway. They may support you down the road or not. They may change with you or not. Don’t wait for them.
Help Others Change
As we’ve said many times we can’t change others, only ourselves. The only way we can “change” others is by influencing them. I don’t mean with your opinions or research. When we change, it opens a space to allow others to change too. If they want to. If it’s in their destiny to do so.
The classic example is an abusive relationship. If you start standing up for yourself, if you get out of the victim mentality this changes the dynamic in the relationship. If the abuser wants to change now that you’ve made it clear that you won’t take it anymore, then he or she will change. You’ve opened a space for change. If the abuser doesn’t want to change, then more than likely your change will prompt you to leave the relationship – a big change.
Even in your own home you can influence change in others. Let’s say that you’re a messy person. Because you’re messy, the others in your home become messy too. Something triggers you to stop being messy. You make an effort to become a more organized person. You change your ways. Guess what starts to happen? The others start to pick up their mess too. All because you decided to stop being messy.
See what I mean? Even the little things can be changed by changing yourself first. Then let the others follow. Change can be contagious.
Change is like a snowball. It gains momentum as it rolls downhill. When you change one thing for the positive, now you may be inspired to change more things. Before you know it, your life could be completely different – for the better.
When People Stand in Your Way
If other people stand in your way of positive change, what does that say about them?
Many female clients have told me tales of just that. They decided to become a better person by changing some behavior. Their boyfriend didn’t like it. He tried to stop them or criticize them or even make fun of them. Then they ask me why does he act like this? Because he never really supported you in the first place. He doesn’t really have your best interests at heart. This should be a sign, ladies. Do you really want to be with someone like this? Someone who holds you back? Someone who doesn’t want you to change for the better?
Maybe they’re scared that you’ll leave them now that you have changed something. If that’s the case, then talk with your partner about it. Reassure them that this change is for you. It has nothing to do with them. You still love them and want to be with them, but you just wanted to be different. If they understand and back off, great. If not, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate just who they are. A word of caution: unless you’re ready, don’t make too many changes at once, including leaving them. Sometimes we make too many changes at once and then regret it.
Sometimes life forces change upon you. Then you have to change. That can be uncomfortable. In that case, do the best you can to roll with it. Just remember: you are your own best support system. You know what you like and don’t like. You know what calms you down, what makes you happy. If you don’t, then maybe it’s time to figure that one out. You’d be surprised how many people don’t know that about themselves. Yes, even grown adults! I see it all the time in readings.
Change Can Look Many Ways
As I’ve often said, change can be slow. Change can be messy. Or it can be quick and easy. It depends on the situation and you. If you’re ready for it, change comes quickly. If you think you’re ready for it, but really, you’re not, change won’t happen or not the way you hope. At the end of the day, if you want to change, then you will. You’ll find a way to make it happen.
Whoever said we’re too old to change is wrong. People can change at any time. It’s just that the older we get, the more set in our ways we get so we’re not open to change. Or it becomes too difficult. Or it’s not a priority. You got along just fine for this many years, why change it now attitude. That doesn’t mean it’s not possible. It’s a choice. Life is always a choice.
Choose to change or not. Choose to change whether others hold you back or not. Choose to change in the face of adversity. Choose to change in the name of growth. Pick one. I know I will.
If you aren’t sure about what changes to make in your life or if you should, what do you do? Ask your intuition!
If you’re not sure how to do that, I can help you.
Many of my clients have said that they want to learn how to develop their intuition. Because of that, I developed this easy-to-follow do it at your own pace, online course. It’s packed with tips, hacks and how-to exercises.
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Once you start listening to your intuition, you’ll be amazed how much your life clicks into place. Then you can truly start enjoying yourself and get what you want out of life!
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