Recently I was confronted with some old family memories. Memories that I thought that I had dealt with. Obviously not. They were re-ignited and suffused with new painful memories. While working to let them go I could no longer fight them. They were too big and too painful. However, I wanted that energy out of my energy field. I needed my mind, body and soul to calm down.
They were too painful to process at the moment so letting them go was not in the cards. My mind kept spinning with the memories. Yet, I wanted that to stop.
What to do?
That’s when I decided to just put them aside.
When doing release work sometimes it’s hard to let go of things even though you want to. The reasons why you don’t want to let go of something are wide and varied. The bottom line is because you aren’t ready to, for whatever reason.
When your mind is spinning and can’t let go of something and aren’t ready to let it go, a technique that I’ve found that works is to put it aside.
Put it in a Box (in your imagination)
Putting it aside isn’t the same as letting it go. Letting it go is that just – it no longer affects you, it’s been released from your energy field, whatever the case may be. Putting it aside is like putting it in a box. It’s like boxing something up to go to the post office to send it. If you aren’t ready to let it go (which is akin to actually mailing it in this example), just put it in a box instead. You haven’t mailed it yet which appeases your anxiety or reluctance about mailing it (aka letting it go). Just put it in a box. Period.
By putting it in a box you don’t have to see its contents. You don’t have to deal with it. You just put it in a box. That takes it out of your line of vision. As long as you don’t get tangled up in the next narrative – worrying about when and how you’re going to mail the box – you are free to take the pressure off.
Release work, while very effective, can be scary too. As I said above, sometimes we think we want to release something but our psyche says no. It’s not ready to. It may be too scary. There might be some additional processing to do. Or reconciling. Or forgiveness. There could be many reasons we’re not quite yet ready to let go. And that’s ok.
If you’re hearing yourself say, “I can’t let it go yet”, that’s the perfect time to put it in a box. Yet you may want to get over it or calm your mind down. That’s when I say put it in a box. Put it aside. By putting it in a box you are containing your thoughts, your emotions, your fears. It’s another way to distract your mind, to calm you down. It’s another technique that you can add to your list along with listening to your favorite music or doing a guided meditation or self-hypnosis.
Box or No Box, Put it Aside
If you don’t like the box analogy, use your vivid imagination to do something else with those thoughts. Put it in the ground and bury it. Burn it. Flush it. Those are all more final. That’s why I prefer putting it in a box. A box can be put on a shelf, only to be retrieved at a later date when you need it. A box can be put in another room or the attic. It’s still there if you want it later, you haven’t destroyed it.
Releasing isn’t about destroying your old thoughts, emotions, beliefs etc. It’s about no longer letting them affect you. Putting them aside also isn’t about destroying them. It’s about putting them on a temporary hold. It allows you to deal with them later. It’s akin to putting them in a to-do folder, whether material or digital. When you want to deal with them, consult the to-do folder. If you’re not ready, keep them in the folder. You don’t have to open the file. Keep it in there. Out of sight, out of mind.
Don’t Deny it or Destroy it
Putting it aside also isn’t the same as denying, which is pretending it never happened. Rather, it’s not letting it bother you right now. It’s ignoring it for a little while. It’s ok to temporarily ignore the negative things such as worrisome chatter or fearful thoughts. It’s not productive to let them circle in your mind.
When you deny something, your rational mind can’t make sense of it when you’re honest with yourself. Release work is about being honest. “This affects me, so I’m letting it go.” It’s not, “This affects me so I’m going to pretend it never happened.” By pretending it never happened you are denying your reality. That can be more harmful because at some point subconscious memories have a way of resurfacing. Then the mind can get confused because you denied its reality. That can set you into a tailspin and into therapy.
Denial sometimes works in the short-term, but in the end, it always gets ya. That’s why I don’t advocate denying your painful memories. Instead, put them aside. Put them in that box or to-do folder or any other useful imagery. Put them on hold, not erase them. By putting them on hold, you can revisit them when you are ready to address them and let them go.
Even though we may want to, the time isn’t always right to let certain things go. As I said in the beginning, we may have more work to do around painful memories. Explore what needs to be done next before you can let them go.
Release work, I have found, is very layered. It’s not as simple or as quick as it may sound. It can be. Yet other times it cannot be. In the times it’s not easy for you, box them up. Put them aside. If it makes you feel better, figuratively slap a “fragile” sticker on your box of memories. When the time is right, you can handle them with kid gloves and let them go.
For now, put them aside in that box. You’ll be glad you did. I was.
How do you know if you’re ready to let go of something? How do you know if it’s not yet time to release something?
Ask your intuition.
Do you have intuition? How do you know?
Do you have it but aren’t sure you’re hearing it?
Let me show you how.
If you want to confirm that you have it, learn how to listen to it, how to talk to it and how to trust it start by CLICKING HERE.
Once you start listening to your intuition, you’ll be amazed how much your life clicks into place. Then you can truly start enjoying yourself and get what you want out of life!
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