Do you remember being a kid on Christmas morning and didn’t get something that you wanted? Or any other scenario where you didn’t get what you wanted?
What happened next?
You probably got disappointed.
That’s understandable. When we don’t get what we want we feel let down or mad or sad.
Why is that?
Because we were attached to the outcome. Because we expected something. Or because we assumed something. We all know what assume means, right?
Que Sera Sera
It’s great to have expectations, but not when they let us down. How do you avoid that? Don’t attach to what you want. Have a laissez-faire attitude. That’s French for allow it to happen. Or que sera sera. If you know the old Doris Day song the meaning was in the lyrics, “Que sera sera, whatever will be, will be.” Let it be. Don’t force it. Go with the flow. Whatever happens, happens. All of that.
Expecting is an “if/then” scenario. If this happens, then that will happen as a result. That’s great if you’re in planning mode at work. But not so great in your personal life if you expect something to happen and it doesn’t.
How do you avoid the let down?
I would say don’t expect it. You can expect it, but then don’t get upset if it doesn’t happen. That’s the trick. When we expect, generally, we form an emotional attachment to the outcome. “Wow, if I put in my application, I’ll get this new job that I really want!” Then what happens when you don’t get it? Two words: let down. You were all excited, practically spending your new pennies, then bam, it falls through.
You can mope. You can cry. You can cuss out the recruiter who told you about the job. You can break something (not highly recommended). Where does that get you? Still mad or ticked off. Still watching a dwindling bank account because you were expecting to have a fatter paycheck soon.
How did that work out for you? Not so good, right?
Instead look at it like a dandelion in the wind. Remember when you were a kid and you used to blow the dandelions when they were turning to seed? It was fun to watch where the wind would take the seeds. If you did it in your own yard like I did, your dad would get mad at you because that meant more weeds come spring! Seriously, though, why did we blow dandelions? Because it was fun to watch. We had no expectations as to where the seeds would land. They just floated across the ethers.
If you want to expect something, do the same thing. Expect that whatever happens, happens. Be ok with whatever the outcome is.
It’s like when you give someone a choice of the red one or the blue one and they say, “Surprise me!” Most people can’t do that because they’re very attached to the one that they want. They want the red one. The blue one won’t do. Then if they end up with the blue one, they’re disappointed.
Right now, some of you may be saying, “Wait a minute, in manifesting we should expect the outcome we desire.” That is true. With a caveat. (Don’t you just hate caveats?) The caveat being it might not happen the way you want it to happen. Or thought it might.
That’s why I often say to the Universe that I’d like “this or something better.” Because you know what, something much better might be out there for me. Something better than I could ever have imagined. If you read my last post, it can be “better good.” [See my recent post on “better good.“] We don’t know all of the possibilities. As they say, the possibilities are endless.
When I was in college, I wanted to follow a certain path. It didn’t work out the way I had hoped it would. Or expected it would. Instead, I went down a long and winding road. A road that took me where I am today, doing what I really want to do. Doing what I had no clue I could do back in my 20s. I ended up in a place better than I could have imagined. It’s “better good” than what I had originally planned for myself. Much better good. It may’ve taken me a long time to get here, but I got here. How long it takes doesn’t really matter.
Timing Isn’t Everything!
That’s another thing. Timing. Particularly you Type As out there, if you don’t reach your goal by a certain time, you get all wigged out. If I told you that it really doesn’t matter how long it takes you to get there, you’d probably tell me that I’m crazy. And that’s ok. Because I know that it doesn’t really matter.
How do I know that? From experience. And from the principles of manifesting. It doesn’t happen on our timing. It happens when the time is right. That’s an entirely different philosophy than Type As live by. It’s ok. Two people can get to the same results by different means. I’ll stick to manifesting, you can stick to timelines and goal setting if you prefer.
Having a timeframe in mind can lead to disappointment if you don’t achieve what you want in a certain amount of time. If you expect you’ll make partner by 35 or have your house paid off in 10 years or have two kids before a certain age and don’t get it, now what? Ruh roh.
Expecting got you into trouble again.
The Type As may reach all of their goals by their timeframe. Good for them, I say. I used to be kinda Type A. Now I’m a reformed Type A if you want to call it that. I let go of expecting. Or at least, expecting with attachment.
And I let go of the fight.
Let Go of the Fight
Meaning I let go of resisting.
I’m finding that when I don’t expect and I don’t resist, things happen much easier and quicker. Expecting and resisting are forms of attaching. Attaching to what you want when you want it.
Instead of holding on and expecting and then being disappointed when you don’t get it or don’t get it by a certain time, be like that dandelion in the wind. Don’t worry about where the wind takes you.
If you like expecting, go ahead and expect it to happen, just don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t happen. Detach.
Or tell the Universe, “Surprise me!” next time you ask for something. You’ll get to where you want to go if you stay focused on it. Just don’t hyper-focus with attachment and expectation.
P.S. That’s why a lot of us don’t like surprises. Because we get attached to what we want how we want it when we want it.
How do you know if you’re attaching too much? Sometimes you can tell, other times it’s our blind spot.
If you’re in that blind spot, how do you get out of it?
Ask your intuition.
Do you have intuition? How do you know?
Do you have it but aren’t sure you’re hearing it?
Let me show you how.
If you want to confirm that you have it, learn how to listen to it, how to talk to it and how to trust it start by CLICKING HERE.
Once you start listening to your intuition, you’ll be amazed how much your life clicks into place. Then you can truly start enjoying yourself and get what you want out of life!
CLICK HERE to find out more!